Kaibutsu
by MazokuYusuke
Summary: AU somewhat. The Fourth Ninja World War is creating havoc throughout the world, involved or not. Follow Kisame through a different world, where Akatsuki aren't Akatsuki anymore. And maybe, they'll be the solution to this war instead of it's cause.
1. Chapter 1

**Hajime**

_"In that case, I hereby declare... the Fourth Ninja World War." - Madara_

It seemed as though everything was going horribly today for Kisame. The goddam window just wouldn't _shut_, and the noise outside was just too _unbearable_. If he had to listen to another minute of the noise, he would _explode_. Luckily, he didn't. The window came unstuck at the last second. Kisame's force brought the window down in the blink of an eye, and the bottom of the wooden frame came down and smashed against the window sill. The harsh crunch of wood on wood was a relief in Kisame's ears. If he tried to open it, he knew the wood would crumble off the window and onto the floor. He liked that thought, but he was somewhat thankful he hadn't actually broken the glass.

After a deep sigh, Kisame listened to the room intensely. No noise, and no arguing. Finally, perfection. It was all people ever did nowadays was argue. Like they had anything else _better_ to do, right? Kisame understood it. Wars were big things. But, for christ sake, couldn't they just have their 'conversations' in other, non-public places? He'd appreciate it, for sure.

That was another reason he hated small town motels. The vendors liked to bother you at the doors, practically begging you to buy some stupid kunai pouch or something. Then people get sick of being talked to about how bad the war was, and how the poor vender was suffering from starvation and trying to feed his family, when he's sitting there with a big-ass rock on his finger. Or a few of them. Those were the people Kisame enjoyed killing most. But Samehada never got off on their chakra well, so Kisame was forced to just pass the greedy bigots by.

The only reason Kisame had even come to this area was to find some old guy he'd heard was real powerful. Samehada was hungry, and the small chakras just weren't enough anymore, even though there were plenty around during the war. People just liked to launch themselves at you for no reason, enemy or friend. Or, at least, it happened to Kisame more often then not for some reason. He didn't exactly look helpless, so he just couldn't figure these people out.

After a while of relaxing, Kisame stood from his lumpy motel bed and went into the bathroom. He took a quick shower, shaved, and scrubbed his teeth. He'd forgotten to do laundry the past few days, so he just slipped on a pair of baggy pants and some of his ratted-up shoes. He stuffed everything else into his nearly destroyed backpack, heaved Samehada up onto his back, then left the hotel room, not even caring to close the door on the way out.

Out in the lobby, Kisame could hear the arguing outside. His hands itched, but he ignored it. He tossed his room key at the fake woman at the front desk, then dared to venture out the heavy door into the street. There were mass amounts of people fighting and hollering at each other. Of course Kisame towered over them, so seeing how he could get out of there fast was easy. He shoved a lot of people over, and for once they didn't really retaliate. They were more involved in beating up the traveling trader that hollered at Kisame yesterday night when he arrived at the motel. Men, women, and even a few kids took turns knocking the crap out of the guy, and taking anything they wanted from him. Kisame almost got a kick out of it, but it was just too loud and the circumstances were just too stupid for his liking. Once out of the mob, he had shove away a few bystanders that got in his way. There were a lot of them too. This was something that stabbed at Kisame's nerves. How stupid _were_ people?

Once clear of the crowd, he entered a small cafe near the center of the tiny village. It was well furnished with dark colors and leather seat covers. The walls were a deep maroon color, and the waitresses looked good enough to eat. There was only one other person in the cafe, and he sat in a booth by himself. The man looked fairly young, with somewhat long black hair. He couldn't tell much else, because the boy didn't turn around when Kisame entered. Kisame himself came up to the counter and sat in a chair, patting Samehada's hilt. A kind-eyed brunette came up to greet him.

"Any breakfasts ya got'll be great, and some coffee. Black, please." Kisame wasn't good at talking to anybody except the pretty waitresses in restaurants. They were cute, and you felt at least somewhat comfortable staring at their butts when they turned around. I mean, they wear skirts like _those_, and they're just asking for it. Besides, nobody would try to smack a guy like Kisame, unless they wanted their hands bitten off. He would, too.

The cute waitress brought Kisame a hardy plate of breakfast a few minutes later, composed of scrambled eggs, burnt looking hashbrowns, and a few pieces of bacon and sausage. She came next with the coffee, then took the money Kisame handed her. It was more than neccesary, but she pretended not to notice, and slipped it into her shirt.

He made sure to eat slowly and savor the taste, only because this would probably be his only meal for today. He had a lot of travelling to do if he wanted to find the guy for Samehada to finally get some grub. Behind him, Kisame could feel a pair of eyes on his back. He guessed it was probably the kid he saw coming in, but he didn't feel like turning around and insulting him right now. He had better things to think about. But, it was an eerier feeling than usual. He did his best to ignore it. Instead, he took out a folded map from a pocket in his backpack. He unfolded it in front of his breakfast, and stared at it. He took out a marker next, taking the cap off with his mouth and holding it there. He thought about something for a good long while before actually crossing off the town he was in on the map. He had been to almost every town in the area searching for this guy. He had thought this was the last one, but he had a feeling it wasn't. Sure enough, after careful observation, Kisame found there was a small dot on the map unmarked, right near the top where he had started this goddamned quest. He drew a loppy circle around it carefully, then stared at it for several minutes in annoyance. Samehada was _so_ lucky he had _such_ a good caretaker.

Kisame folded the map and tucked it away in his backpack pocket, then did the same with the marker after capping it. He finished his meal, then chugged his coffee. Coffee was not his thing, but he needed the caffeine for the trip. The woman tried to wish him a good day, but Kisame blatantly ignored her. She was pretty, but he didn't really take to her. On his way out, however, he locked eyes with the man who had been staring at him. His eyes were deep and black, and looked stone cold. He walked faster after that, not even bothering to take notice of anything else. Pretty eyes, but too cold. _Way_ too cold.

____________________

Rivers were beautiful things, especially when you were Kisame. Halfway through his trip to the village circled on his map, he remembered there was a river marked on the map that ran right next to the village he needed to get to. Kisame, desperate, searched for and found the river. Swimming or drifting, it was faster and easier than walking. For sure. Right about now, Kisame let the river lazily drift him slowly toward his goal. He laid in the water on his stomach, so as to not get his bag too wet, since it was falling apart. Fish tried desperately to avoid Kisame, but sometimes the fish were nice, and came to swim next to him. Either way, he didn't care. Fish were dumb creatures anyways.

What annoyed Kisame the most was when he saw a small object in the water move swiftly towards him. Unprepared, he wasn't even able to move much before he got hooked. In the ear. _Through_ the ear.

Kisame's head popped up out of the water by itself, with a roar. He stood there in there in the river, astonished at what had just happened. He reached up to touch his ear, and sure enough, a hook was sticking in one side, and out the other. And it was attatched to fishing line. Heavy duty fishing line. And somebody was _tugging_ on the line. Kisame felt suddenly enraged. He turned heel in the water to try to find the source.

The source giggled stupidly from where it sat on the edge of the river. Kisame's anger turned into a feeling of utter stupidity. A man, much smaller than Kisame, sat on the edge of the river. He had long, fluffy black hair that seemed to stick out all over the place like a goddamned porcupine. Even worse, he wore a mask that only had one eye hole. The mask was white, with a few red swirls decorating it. He was dressed in an old looking black kimono, even though he was sitting pretzel-style, and resembled an academy student. The front was open so you could see a little of the weirdo's chest, but nothing else. He didn't even have a fishing rod either. It was a long, dumb looking stick, with the line tied onto the end. He waved it around in amusement, still laughing.

"Hey, dipshit." Kisame hollered at the laughing man a little ways away, "Who the hell do you think you are?!"

The guy seemed to almost ignore Kisame's question. Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a keychain of a toy bear.

"I've been fishing for a long time here on this river. Never thought I'd catch a _shark_!" the man's voice was somewhat stuffy, and it stung Kisame's ears with annoyance. He didn't care who this senile dumbass was, he was gonna kill him. "Right Teddy? It's a big shark too. We'll eat good for a while."

Kisame yanked the hook out of his ear, not really caring for the sharp pain following it. He trudged through the river, back to where the crazy guy sat talking to his keychain. "Hey, I asked you a question! Who the hell do you think you are?!"

"I think I'm Tobi. I'm not entirely sure, but you said think, so I think it's okay not to fully really know." the masked man didn't even turn his head up. He sat there waving the stick around, watching the hook as it waved around above the water's surface. "By the way, I don't like blood in my river. You might wanna patch that up, Mr. Shark."

"Hmph." Kisame's anger was dwindling. This was the kind of guy he couldn't stay angry at, no matter how hard he tried. This guy was just so.... entertaining. Plus, he _was_ bleeding a good bit, now that he looked at himself. Blood trickled down his neck, slid over his shoulder, then made a slow descent down his bare, muscular chest. Kisame stepped out of the river, standing next to the guy with the stick, whose apparent name was Tobi.

"So, why's a big shark like you wandering down my river, squishing all the cute fish?" Tobi asked, finally looking up at Kisame, but his head was at a funny angle, and it bothered Kisame.

"Don't call me that." Kisame spat first, to relieve himself of some amount of awkwardness. "I was on my way to the next town along the river."

"Oh. So, Mr. Kisame, are you gonna stay for dinner?" Tobi held up the keychain next to his face, and moved it around like it was talking.

Kisame was now officially disturbed. He hadn't even told this creep his name, but he knew it anyways. Not to mention, now that he tried, he couldn't sense _any_ of this guy's chakra. Not one bit. And, for someone like Kisame with a mass amount of chakra and who took care of a living weapon that ate chakra, this was very uncomfortable.

"I don't think so. I have places to go, and people to-"

Kisame was cut off when he grunted. Tobi had taken his stupid ass stick and cracked it over Kisame's knee. Hard. Like, _really_ hard. The kind of hard that you wouldn't expect from an ordinary stick.

"Wrong answer, Mr. Shark." Tobi growled suddenly, holding up the keychain. "Teddy didn't like your tone of voice."

Kisame grumbled in irritation, shaking out his knee quickly, trying to make it look like that didn't hurt. Oh, but it did. And it shouldn't have.

"Okay then! I bet Mr. Kisame Shark Man likes fish, doesn't he?" Tobi talked to his keychain, and made it nod in reply. "Well, we definitely have plenty of those, so it looks like it's going to be a great dinner!" Tobi stood up finally, wrapping the heavy-duty fishing line around his stick, and stuck the hook onto the top of it. Then, he tucked it under the loose tie of his kimono, and skipped towards the thick woods. Kisame, so unable to really think at the moment, followed after him.

____________________

"The forests of Konohagakure are the perfect place to live... Unless Konoha gets invaded by the spider monkeys from Iwa. Then I think everybody will be seriously fucked over and stuff. It'll make for some good primetime news programs." Kisame picked up very quickly that Tobi loved to hear himself talk. Or, he loved to talk in general. Or he was just crazy. All the unreal choices seemed to float around in Kisame's brain for a while, making his head hurt.

Tobi's home was a cabin in the middle of nowhere. It was composed of just one room, which served as a kitchen, had a bed, and had a small table in the middle, with three old chairs around it, which Tobi, the bear keychain, and Kisame all sat in. There were weird black-and-white photos up all over the walls, and newspaper clippings that appeared to be mostly from magazines from the Hidden Leaf Village. The walls were completely covered in all these things and more, like some old pin-ups of beautiful blonde women, and for some reason, one man. There was an old ceiling fan in the very center of the place, which seemed to be on all the time, and it seemed to be the only source of life in the place besides one window. However, that window was covered with an ugly orange curtain that looked stained at the bottom. To Kisame, it looked like blood. In the corner of the house there was a small television on top of a small bookshelf, which contained a variety of different books and magazines, most of which looked naughty. On the floor in front of it, there was a green bean bag chair with a large black cat occupying it's space, sleeping.

"That's my fluffy-kins." Tobi said, pointing to the large cat on the bean bag chair. "He's old and grumpy. Fat too. Eats all the food and more. I wanna kill that stupid thing, but it gets lonely out here sometimes, right Teddy?" Tobi picked up something off the floor, which looked like a miniature yo-yo, and threw it at the old cat. The cat made no movement or noise to even indicate that it was alive. Kisame didn't really like this very much.

Dinner had already been eaten, and Kisame had to admit, it wasn't that bad. He didn't burn the fish or anything. Nothing was poisoned. Still, compared to his own, practically gourmet cooking, Kisame thought it was pretty good.

"Anyways, uh, T-.... Tobi? Um, I really do have to get going. I have somebody I need to look for now." Kisame slowly stood up, but not all the way.

"_Really?!" _Tobi almost squeaked which Kisame only found odd. "Who?! Do I know him?"

"Um... You might. He's supposed to be around here somewhere." Kisame chuckled, flashing a half grin, which looked nearly like a regular one.

"What's his name?" Tobi inquired, putting his fingers together in front of his chest, kicking his feet up on the table. "Maybe... I can help you find him!"

This intrigued Kisame. "His name is Madara. I have no idea of his last name, except that it started with... A 'u', I think."

"Hmm..." Tobi scratched the chin of his mask, his voice twisting into the voice of a movie detective. "Yes, indeed... I _do_ know a Madara..."

Kisame sat back down after hearing this. "Good. What can ya tell me about the guy?"

"Well..." Tobi said, gazing at Teddy the keychain, "Madara Uchiha is a very powerful and revered man. Famous to the world, especially in Konohagakure. It's said he started the Third Ninja World War with his organization Akatsuki, composed of at least ten other powerful members. Unfortunately, it's said that all ten died except for Madara himself. He's become somewhat peaceful, living here in the forests of Konohagakure. Only the people of this village know. Madara pledged to protect everyone in this village a long time ago in order to be able to live here, and has done so indeed. He drifts sometimes though - he's here for a week, gone for three, that kind of stuff. Very interesting man indeed..."

The way Tobi talked gave Kisame the impression that he was talking to someone completely different. He figured by now that that was normal. What a weirdo...

"You sure know your stuff." Kisame grinned, picking at Samehada's hilt. Samehada was starting to get restless. "Any idea if he's in town?"

For a moment, Tobi seemed to just stare at Kisame. Then, he tilted his head at a funny angle and made a very over-exagerated shoulder shrug. "I dunno. I don't know him _that_ well... I do know he's in the process of training an apprentice, but I don't know who. Why you so interested anyways, Mr. Kisame Shark Man?"

"Eh, no reason." Kisame grinned, "But I do have to get going."

Kisame stood again, and headed towards the door.

"You're going to meet some very interesting people in your travels Kisame." Tobi said suddenly, his voice seeming slightly warped, which startled Kisame a little. "I bet you're going to help end our current world war. In fact, I _know_ you will. You're powerful and all. Plus, you've had it pretty crappy your whole life, right?"

"Tobi, what the hell're you-"

"Don't get me wrong. I know what I'm talking about. For sure. Life's gonna get interesting for you, I bet. Have fun with it all. Don't let it go to your head though. You're not invincible, Mr. Shark." Tobi proceded to laugh, just like he had earlier.

Kisame didn't want to hear it anymore. He swung open the door and slammed it, without meaning to, on his way out. He trecked back through the woods the way he had come with Tobi, until he found the river. He had tripped and fumbled almost the whole way. Night was falling, and the moon reflected off of the water in an eerie sort of way. It seemed to be telling Kisame something, or at least that's what he thought. But he didn't try to listen. He just drifted into the water.

____________________

"So, Madara lives in the woods?"

"Yes sir." The woman nodded politely. She was a shop attendant at the local grocery store. "He comes by sometimes. He lives in a cabin in the middle of the woods, down the river a little he's not there, it looks like a completely abandoned house, but it isn't."

Kisame was quiet. Something about this was peculiar.

"My son can take you there, if you'd like. He visits Madara all the time." the woman smiled.

"Thanks..." Kisame muttered, taking a look at the kid when he came around the counter. It appeared to be a boy no older than ten.

Kisame followed this boy a good way out down the river, until they finally stopped.

"There's blood." the boy muttered, looking at the rocks. Kisame did as well, in slight shock. It was the blood from his ear from yesterday, which was patched up with bandages wrapped around his head under his Mist Village headband.

"We... turn here, kid?" Kisame looked up at the small path he had taken with Tobi the day before. Then, something caught Kisame's eye.

"What's the time, kid?" Kisame blurted, even though he knew around what time it was.

"About eight o'clock in the AM, sir." the kid, looking a little freaked out, didn't really look at Kisame. He wasn't as polite as his mother was. "Got a problem, sir?"

Kisame remembered when he got to his motel last night that it was nine o'clock at night. Kisame and the kid left the shop that day at seven...

'_Eight o'clock last night, the moon was on the left side of the river. This morning...'_

Kisame looked up. The sun was high in the sky, on the left side.

"...Genjutsu..." Kisame muttered, then his eyes got wide. He sped off up the rocky, branch ridden trail, the kid hollering after him. He tripped up many times, but finally made it to the top. The door to the cabin was ajar slightly. Kisame nearly broke the door off it's hinges throwing it open. The house was dusty and dark, the light bulb on the roof was blown out. There was no pictures on the walls, ceiling fan, television, or bean bag chair. The table looked very old, and there were two chairs tipped over next to it. Under the table, a cat sat hissing at Kisame. Everything looked old and abandoned. There was no sign of 'Tobi'.

Kisame stared for a very long time. Without saying anything, he turned and walked out of the house. His fists shook. Samehada began to wiggle slightly, making an echoing 'gigigi' noise. With a loud roar, Kisame turned and smashed down the tree nearest the house. It broke instanly from it's trunk and in half, flying back into other trees and knocking them down. It was like dominoes, but with extremely loud crunches and booms accompanying it.

Kisame tried to take in deep breathes, but it was proving worthless. His anger was soaring. He had been tricked, fooled, decieved, played with like some retarded little toy that hadn't known any better. _Any_ better.

He had let Madara Uchiha slip from his fingers, and he hadn't the simplest idea. Samehada would have to go hungry. _Again_.

"Damn..." Kisame growled at the trees, sky, and house. "God DAMN IT ALL!"

The peaceful little village by the river became frightened. Some unknown monster lurked in the forest that night. And destroyed all of their trees.

* * *

Long time no upload. This will be a 10+ chapter story. My profile has a checklist, if you're interested. I hope you enjoy something new. Reviews are needed. ( All thee characters, settings, and themes/ideas above are (c) Masashi Kishimoto)


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: This chapter contains strong, and maybe somewhat offensive language. You've been warned.  
**

* * *

**Shuukyoo**

_"Now! Let's savor the utmost of suffering together!" - Hidan_

The toilet was never a fun place to be for Kisame. And not in the typical way it's used. That's fine. Just, when stuff comes out the _other end_... A touchy subject. But, needless to say, it's what happens when you have a few too many drinks in one night, or, in Kisame's case, one hour. His head spun like a Merry-go-Round, and his stomach did not agree with anything at the moment. But there is a point in time that there is nothing else to do but drink, in Kisame's case. Nothing ever seemed to go his way, even when he tried hardest for it. There were always people that were going to stare at him, always people that would talk about him, and there were always going to be people that hated him. It was inevitable. And Kisame sure did _hate_ the inevitable.

After another go around, Kisame dizzily stood up from off of the floor. Once he was up and somewhat steady, he flushed the toliet. He spat in the sink a few times, rinsing out his mouth several more. After a good tooth-brushing, Kisame was finally starting to feel a little less gross. He didn't look or smell pretty at the moment either, for sure.

Drinking spells were rare for Kisame. They were becoming more common however. There wasn't much he could do about stopping it, either. People _were_ a lot nicer to you when they were drunk. It's a very well-known fact indeed.

Kisame slowly scooted out of the bathroom, gazing around in a daze. Another crappy motel room. One bed. One television. One light. One sword. One person. Always the same deal. Except, this room actually had _two_ windows. Whoopdee-flippin'-doo.

Kisame sat himself down on the bed in the center of the room and fished through his bag. He didn't exactly know what he was looking for, but he just needed a distraction. The only things in his bag was clothes, bathroom items, maps, pens, and a photo tucked into a book. The book was old, and Kisame had had it ever since he could remember, just like the photograph. He pulled the photo out of the book carefully, gazing at it in the light of the lamp by his bed. Three of the four people in the photo were like ghosts, there once but never again. Well, they really _were_ ghosts. The last person is someone Kisame had known well at one time, but not anymore. Himself.

A knock on the door interrupted Kisame's thoughts. He slipped the photo into the book, and the book back into his bag. He grabbed Samehada by the hilt and pulled himself up off the bed. He walked carefully over to the door, Samehada in hand, when he noticed they unknown visitor had slipped something under his door. A piece of paper, to be fair. Kisame didn't look happy with this, and bent down quickly to snatch up the paper. Before reading it, Kisame sat himself back on his bed. Then, he took the slightly crumpled paper and stared at it. It was a handwritten note, that was extremely hard for Kisame to read. The hand writing was weird and difficult to read if you were getting over a hangover. When Kisame had finally gotten his head together, he read it aloud:

"'Gather today in the center of town at 3pm for an important message.'"

Kisame's eyes narrowed as he burped a little. What could be so interesting as to pull a whole frigging' town together by means of a handwritten note? Probably nothing. But, Kisame was curious, no doubt. Why not go and crash the party? And raise hell if it wasn't important.

* * *

Later in the day Kisame was feeling better. Not happier, for sure, but at least he wasn't upchucking anymore. He took Samehada with him as he left his room. He made sure to lock his door with the old, crappy room key. Other people were also leaving their rooms, obviously for the same purpose, because they were holding the same letter in their hands. Kisame made his way out of the motel into the heat of a Konohagakure day. He hated this area for that reason alone. The sweltering heat always made him feel extremely uncomfortable. It would be better if it was cold. For sure.

Kisame followed a group of younger looking people to where they were going, because they were talking about the note. Kisame's curiosity itched, and so did his need to pop off some heads or something. Public gatherings always excited him that way. So many unsuspecting, dumb people.

The center of town wasn't that crowded to Kisame. He could see over most of them, even if he stood in the back. There was a large stage set up in the middle of the town. This town was known for it's spectacular plays and playwrites, so it was no wonder all their money was poured into this stage area. Samehada was nearly going crazy. There were definitely some good chakras nearby.

After a while of standing around, everybody started hushing each other, and a stage light on the stage flickered to life.

_ 'Here we go...' _Kisame thought eagerly, gripping Samehada's hilt tightly, grinning devilishly.

Kisame was surprised, however, to see a woman walk up onto the stage from the back. Her appearance stunned many people in the crowd. She was very beautiful, with her long silver hair in an elaborate work. Jewelry adorned her hair, neck, wrists, and even ankles if you looked closely. Her shoulders were bare, and she wore a tight, elaborate-looking corset, which was a stunning shade of purple. Her skirt was very long, a matching purple, and definitely 'poofy' in Kisame's opinion. Although she was indeed beautiful, she had weapons tucked into her outfit anywhere you could think. Her last feature was a necklace she wore, which was her least expensive looking item. It was a silver circle, with an upside-down triangle in the middle.

In one hand, the beauty had a wooden stake In the other, a shiny, new book. A bible.

"Shit..." Kisame mumbled. He had a bad feeling about this, but didn't feel like moving. He was big, and the people around him were small. To get out, he'd have to shove past them. He didn't want a scene right now, or yet.

"Hello." the woman called to the crowd, a small smile crossing her face. She had a naturally powerful voice. "We are here to talk to you about something very important in these times of blessed war - religion. No, not religion - we have come here to teach you the law of Lord Jashin himself!"

People in the crowd listened in astonishment. Kisame was already fed up with this. Religion? Never did anything for him. And he definitely didn't want to stand here all day and listen to it. Kisame turned heel and began asking people to move. Once he reached the back of the crowd, he was home free. Or, at least he _thought_ he was.

"Hey _fucker_, where the hell do you think you're going?!"

A somewhat tall man now stood in Kisame's path. He was tall, but somewhat skinny looking. He resembled the woman on stage in a way. They had the same pinkish-red eyes, and the same silver hair. But this man had his short, and slicked back. He wore no shirt, only a pair of pants and shoes. His necklace was exactly the same as hers.

"Hey _fucker_, I'm talking to you! Where the _hell_ do you think you're going?!" the man repeated, his voice harsh, and almost senile sounding.

"I'm going back to my hotel. This crap doesn't interest me." Kisame didn't smile, but he was trying to be polite. His hands twitched uncontrolably. "You dare stand in my way?"

"Of course I fucking do! You aren't going anywhere, bitch." the man snarled in retort, "You're gonna sit your fucking ass down and listen to the glory of Lord Jashin! You'll regret it if you don't."

"Get out of my face. This is my last warning." Kisame suddenly growled back. He didn't care for being civil anymore. If this idiot didn't move, Kisame'd have his head.

"Your last warning huh?" the man scoffed, and opened his mouth to say something more, but Kisame just couldn't take it. He grabbed hold of Samehada's hilt quickly, ripping it off of his back. Apparently the man was very slow and had nearly no reflexes. By the time he realized what was happening, Samehada had shaved across his neck, with a loud shredding noise. Kisame delighted in the sound of Samehada grinding against bone, and he knew he had broken the guy's neck. His head tumbled off his shoulders and onto the rough concrete with a loud thunk. Kisame was surprised, however, that the body took longer to fall. In fact, it took a few steps to the side before tripping and falling to the ground.

Kisame could hear the screams behind him already. The woman speaker had silenced now, only because people were not listening, for sure. They were running, as fast as they could. Kisame chuckled with joy at the screams. He had longed for the noises of pain and fear for a few days now, ever since he had been fooled by Uchiha Madara. His bloodthirst need was spiking. He was well aware that he was a lunatic. But, by now, he'd accepted himself.

Blood dribbled onto the concrete out both ends of the guy's neck. Kisame eyed it with delight. Until, a voice echoed behind him.

"Hidan!" a somewhat deep voice called, and it was not the woman's. Somebody quickly ran by Kisame, without even looking at him. Kisame was shocked by how enormous this other man was. He towered another two feet above Kisame's head, which was almost frightening. His skin was the distinct color of chocolate, and his hair was a bright red, stretching a little past his shoulders, in a ponytail. He was not as muscular as you would think, but he was muscular indeed. He wore only a pair of white pants and shoes, like the other man, but this one's necklace was gold. His eyes were piercing as they stared down at the disembodied head. Kisame also noticed that the man was covered from head to toe in swirling back tattoos.

No matter how tall this man was though, Kisame really didn't feel threatened. This man's chakra smelled somewhat peaceful.

The tall man sighed and shook his head. "Hidan, Maidan isn't going to be happy..."

"I don't give a fucking rat's ass!! Help me out here, fucker!!"

Oh. Well. A talking head wasn't too surprising at this point. He wasn't really expecting it, and he sure was curious, but Kisame was not thrown from his rocking chair just yet. He gripped Samehada tightly as the tall man turned to face him.

"Yeah, fuckin' get 'im Hunce!! Rip that fucker's _ass_ in half!!" Hidan cried crazily, his head rolling slightly to the left.

"Heh. I wouldn't think of doing such a thing Hidan." Hunce's voice was very kind, eerily kind, and Kisame was bothered by it. Even more than Tobi's. Well, Madara's. "This man seems like he could be very helpful to us. And he seems very nice as well."

"Fuck you, you pussy!" Hidan growled, wiggling slightly. "Just help me up, man! The ground's fucking nasty!"

"Hmph. You sure are a weird group of people aren't you?" Kisame sneered across to them, tapping his short fingernails on Samehada's hilt. "I tire of this however. Are you going to do anything to stop me too? You wouldn't want to end up like him, would you?"

"Oh, surely no, my good sir." Hunce's smile was nothing short of kind, but Kisame wasn't calming down. "I definitely wouldn't want to be like that damned idiot. He doesn't have a brain you see. I am not like him."

"Damn! That's a _lot_ of love right there! I just fucking _love_ you too, you fu-" Hidan proceeded to roll over so far he lay on his face in the concrete. The rest of his speech consisted of muffled screaming and cursing. Go figure.

Kisame thought this over for a while. What would these religious nuts want from him? He sure as hell wasn't going to join their cult. He didn't want to end up like the beheaded, foul-mouthed idiot laying face-down in the ground.

"What do you want from me?" Kisame sighed, narrowing his eyes at the kind man in front of him. "I don't really have much patience, you see..."

"Patience is not required, you see." Hunce smiled, and Kisame twitched. Was that a smart remark? "Our priestess would like to speak with you."

So, they had priestesses, eh? Didn't sound too bad.

"Our priest-in-training is a little unnerved right now, so talking to him would only result in absolute failure." Hunce chuckled, pointing a finger down at Hidan's severed head. He was talking to himself into the dirt. "Would you mind greeting our priestess, since everybody has already left, and there is nothing more to really do here in this pitiful square?"

Kisame found it odd how this guy could talk to you so polite, but sometimes slip and say some weird things... But he truly did think hard on this for a little while. He imagined the priestess was probably the woman on stage. Did he really want to meet a devil face to face today? He reckoned so.

"Alright. I'll come along for a little chat." Kisame grinned, lifting Samehada onto his shoulder with not even a grunt. "But only for a little bit. I'm a very busy man."

"I'm sure." Hunce nodded, bending down to pick up Hidan's limp body. He grabbed his head next, by the hair.

"It's about fucking time!" he howled with a twinge of thankfulness.

"Shush now." Hunce smiled down at Hidan. Hidan didn't look very happy, but didn't argue this time. Hunce was carrying him. Mess with him, he'd drop you in a river, most likely.

The crowd had long since disappeared, except for a few people, and Kisame could tell they were members of the cult. He followed behind Hunce at a steady pace, staring around with a grin. His eyes focused back down on Hidan's head.

"How's he still alive, anyways? I'm very curious." Kisame reached up with his foot to poke at Hidan's head with one of his toes. Hidan growled slightly, but remembered to stay quiet.

"All will be explained in due time, I promise you."

Kisame ground his teeth together. He felt greatly unsatisfied with the amount of action he had seen. He hoped more would come soon, though. He was getting restless.

* * *

This Hunce guy appeared to be the only okay one out of this bunch. Kisame thought that this was all peculiar. And kind of stupid. These two, Hidan and Maidan, both looked like they were albino. It looked like they needed frigging sunblock to stay alive. And hair gel. Lots of that. All the others looked stupid and talked in a different, stupid language. This irritated the holy hell out of Kisame. Not to mention, Kisame had sat here for a whole frigging five minutes and the holy priestess woman hadn't even said a _word_ to him. Even the Hunce guy looked nervous, but it looked like it was for a different reason. Maidan sat there, busily sewing Hidan's head back on with a special medical needle, and thick, medical thread stitch stuff. The irritation was plain as day on her face, and Kisame's too.

"Ow! Gentle, you dumb _bitch_!!" Hidan winced and twitched, but Maidan held Hidan still by the hair practically. She didn't say a word as she sealed of the last stitch. Hidan moved his hands a little, then rubbed his neck. He looked dizzy. Probably because he had no blood left in his body after letting it all drain out onto the concrete of the street.

"Now, then..." dumb Princess Maidan finally turned to face Kisame, who looked far less than amused. "Now we can talk."

Hunce helped Hidan up to sit him properly in a chair next to Maidan.

"We're a special bunch from the Land of Hotsprings." Maidan began, staring right into Kisame's face. It was almost like she was trying to make him afraid, or nervous. Maybe she didn't even notice she was doing it. "We've been recruiting under the name of our Lord Jashin. With the current wars going on, we've had many bigger countries invade us for our land. They have failed, but only barely. More attacks are on the way. It's crucial now more than ever to recruit Jashin's believers in a time of war to defend our Lord's land."

"That's nice and all, but I'm not looking to join your stupid cult of maniacs." Kisame scoffed, then added, "No offense."

Maidan stared at Kisame for a few seconds. Then, sighed. "I know you aren't. But at this point, we need all the help we can get to defend our nation. If you converted, that would be one thing. Since I know you won't-"

Hunce had left the room while the two were talking. He now returned with a tightly wrapped scroll, and a large bag. The large bag jingled. There were coins of some kind inside.

"-we must hire you instead. Maybe being in our land for a while will convert you anyways."

Kisame chuckled, scratching his chin. Hunce handed Kisame the scroll, but not the bag. Kisame unwound the scroll, which happened to be a map. This map was different though. Some of the regions on the map were colorfully glowing, some the same, some different. A jutsu or some kind, of course. One area on the map was circled, which happened to be the Land of Hotsprings. Another was circled in a different color, which happened to be the town they were located now.

"Our nation's size has decreased in the last two years, because of other nations pushing our borders back. We have no choice but to comply in certain circumstances, but now we're at the point where we can no long give up land. We've been recruiting under Jashin, but we've also been recruiting skilled assassins and powerful shinobi to support our small nation, since we have plenty to give."

Kisame surveyed the map. There was a small key on the bottom, which labeled the different colors for lands that had 'Already Attacked', labeled in green, were 'Planning an Attack', labeled blue, or who were 'Allies', labeled in orange. There was also red, but it was not on the map currently. Red was for 'Attacking Currently'.

"If you agree to work for us, you will keep that map on you. You must travel to our nation and meet up with our military corps. for instructions. We can not go with you. We have yet more recruiting to do. We will send Hidan to you as soon as he is better, of course." Maidan twitled her fingers with impatience. "Will you do this? You will be paid generously."

Kisame couldn't believe his luck. What a fun excuse to tear some heads off, fighting for a nations that killed more than any other. Plus, he needed that cash.

"Sure, why not? Sounds like fun to me." Kisame extended an arm to shake Maidan's hand as she held it out. Hunce transformed the bag into another scroll, and handed it to Kisame. Kisame tucked it under Samehada's wraps.

"Head there as soon as possible. Also on your map will be marked others that have been hired that will be heading to the nation. You may want to join up with any you find." Maidan stood from her lumpy chair. They had been talking behind stage the whole time. "Remember, await Hidan's arrival if you get to the city's gate before him. You will not be able to get in without him. Now, Hunce, please help my brother along. We must get him fixed."

"Of course!" Hunce picked up Hidan, who looked as if he was on drugs. Like, _a lot_ of them.

Kisame also stood, and watched Maidan and the Jashinists leave. He eyed the map carefully, and after a while, a few yellow dots appeared, and the key at the bottom changed to accommodate the 'Rouge Allies' section.

After grabbing his things from his motel room and pointlessly scaring a few more of the villagers, Kisame set off along the road. He liked to watch the map, and watch how colors would shift back and forth. Kisame grinned in excitement as the nation of Konohagakure lit up as a stunning sky blue color.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Things are heating up. Reviews will be cuddled. (Everything except Maidan and Hunce (c) Masashi Kishimoto )


	3. Chapter 3

Due to the content of this chapter, this story's rating is going up to M. The reason is not sexual content however.

* * *

**Genkaku**

_"Spare us your words of fear and warning. They are wasted on us." - Konan_

Kisame couldn't believe his dumb luck. Not only did he find one of those 'Allies' off the map to travel with, but it also happened to be female. A very odd looking female, indeed.

Her heels were pretty high. She was dressed in mostly black and dark blue. Her pants were really tight, also with those long boots over the bottom half of them. Her shirt was cool. It was a halter top with a long neck, but the whole stomach part was cut off. She was, indeed, well endowed on both sides of the block. She had blue eyes and blue hair too. She wore a good bit of dark makeup, and her hair was up in a bun on the top right side of her head. She had a piercing through her lip. She had a paper flower tucked behind her right ear. She had a black backpack on her back, and you know what was in the netted part to carry a water bottle in? A bottle of unopened beer.

"Hey there." Kisame grinned at her. She looked like she was waiting for something, so he had a feeling it was him.

"Hey." she said in an unusually stoic manner, "We heading to the same place?"

"I'm sure." Kisame chuckled as she put a hand on her hip. "Land of Hotsprings?"

The woman was quiet for a little bit. "Yes. You meet the traveling circus?"

"Who hasn't? I'm Kisame, by the way. I guess we'll be heading there together."

The woman nodded briefly, then turned and walked. "Konan."

Walking along with her wasn't very amusing, but at least she seemed to know where she was going. She wasn't talkative either, but she didn't seem to dislike Kisame. She didn't look at him funny like other people did. Well, actually, she didn't look at him _at all_, but that was fine with him. He wondered what she did. What kind of jutsu did she do? Was she like him, a wandering nobody? Or was she some hot-shot bitch from some underground organization or something?

Wait, what was he thinking? She didn't look like she'd even want to _bother_ with that kind of thing. She didn't look like she cared about _anything_, actually. What a weird woman.

After a while of walking, the woman lit up a cigarette.

"Hope you don't mind." she said briefly, popping the cigarette into her mouth and tossing the match onto the rocky trail. The cigarette looked professionally rolled too. She'd probably been smoking for a while.

"Naw, I don't care." Kisame said a little quietly, "So, Konan, what do you do for a living?"

She took a long drag from the cigarette, then let it hang on her lip. "I fuck people up. It doesn't really require a special title, does it? Either way, it's killing."

Good point. "I see. That all you do?"

"Pretty much."

Kisame was always bothered by people who had few things to say. Everybody must want to say stuff. Why do they hold themselves back from it? He sure didn't.

"Got a family?"

"I'm an orphan. I 'loved' a guy once. But that never went according to plan. I'll always remember him though. And all that red hair..."

Kisame wasn't too sure on what she was talking about, but he got the gist. Women always seemed to have their heads revolving around love. This one was different. It looked more like she'd given up on the concept of 'love' than anything.

"What about you?" she asked as she took another drag.

"Orphan too. Tried to make friends and love, but I was rejected by society. I'm sure you can tell why." Kisame scratched his head and chewed on his lip a little. "I'm not that easy on the eyes. At all."

"You don't look that bad." Konan actually chuckled. More like giggled. "You look like a shark. Who cares?"

Kisame shook his head. "They say I'm a monster."

"They say I'm a bitch. Do you think I am?" she gave him a peculiar look.

"I guess not." Kisame added a sarcastic hint to his voice on purpose, but she seemed not to be phased by his humor. He resigned himself practically, and stayed quiet a while. He wondered if things would get better or worse with this woman.

* * *

It wasn't worse, nor was it better. Konan wasn't a fan of little remote motels, so they were camping out.

"I'm not sleeping in any of those beds. Those're the beds fat guys with beards go around with little fake whores. I'm not sleepin' there."

Kisame hadn't thought of it that way. Then again, the ground got a lot of _attention_ too... Oh well, he didn't mind. He was actually surprised the lady wanted to sleep on the ground or against a tree rather than in a bed. Then again, she wasn't very lady-like at all, besides her obvious appearance and 'polite' manner.

By now they had a good fire, had eaten a meal, and had camp set up. Now was the time when she took out that beer and opened it up.

"That the only bottle you got?" Kisame asked, and she looked up.

"Yes. It's the only bottle I need." Konan smiled, taking a long drink right from the bottle. "Want some?"

"Naw, thanks. I had a few drinks yesterday evenin'." He wasn't in the mood for another hangover.

"Suit yourself."

Kisame watched as she slowly went through the bottle. He wondered why she only had one. Was it a before-bed ritual or something?

But then the bottle disappeared, the typical jutsu way, and a new one appeared in her hand, sealed and everything. Kisame laughed when he saw this. It was obviously some weird-ass jutsu. He wondered how...

"How in the world does...?" he didn't say any more of the question, knowing she'd get it.

"I have a friend who brews." she sighed, looking at the bottle. "Every time I drink one, he sends me another. In exchange I pay him a good bit of money. Since I have nothing else better to spend my money on, I practically give it all to him."

Kisame stared in wonder. What a poor woman. Then again, what kind of guy does Booze Transportation jutsu?

"So, how'd they sucker you into working for them?" Konan was getting a little more talkative now.

"Payin' me." Kisame got into his sleeping bag, in only his pajama pants. He propped himself up on a strong arm. "What about you?"

"I fought their priestess by fluke once. They asked me to convert, and I said no. I remembered them when I saw them in town. I got in an argument with the priestess's brother, and they asked me to help them. I told them not to pay me, I didn't care. Just as long as they didn't do anything to the Land of Rain, which they've been trying to get at for a while, because they're of different religion."

"Why do you care about the Land of Rain? That where you're from?"

"Yes. And I know the village leader. An old, old friend of mine." Konan took a drink. "The Jashinists are very bothersome people. They're like termites. If they like you, they'll pester you and eat at you until you're left with nothing. That's when you're forced to convert."

Kisame chuckled. This woman was nothing short of intelligent. "So, you must be good friends with them?"

"No one is a good friend to a Jashinist, unless they're dead. I know a good bit about them, but they are not my friends."

"Then how do you know about them?"

"I have some reputable sources."

Konan pulled her hair out of the bun, letting the blue hair drape over her left shoulder. She set the paper flower on the rim of her bottle, which was half-full. Or half-empty.

"You interested in some stories I have on them? You might like them." she smiled oddly, and it looked a little weird. She looked naturally better stoic.

"Yeah, why not." Kisame adjusted his position a little, with a bland grin on his face. His sharp teeth reflected the wispy light of the fire.

"We can start with the twins. That is, the priestess and her priest-in-training. The Jashinists are always complaining about not having enough followers. You know why? I received info that the priest-in-training, Hidan, went on a rampage and killed _all_ the Jashinists, including elders, other priests and priestesses, and his own family, which included a father, mother, and even his own older twin sister. He was the only one left. But, that wasn't all the Jashinists. The tall black man, Hunce, is from a remote island off the Land of Waves. When his people received word of this, they sent him over there to check out the scene. Hunce is part of an old, long-lasting band of islanders that worship Jashin in an old type of way, or so the rumors go, at least. All the traditional stuff. More sacrifices and all. Anyways, Hunce arrived to find Hidan and all the dead bodies. Hunce is skilled in the arts of Kinjutsu, which is revival of the dead. After he locked Hidan up, he revived only a small amount of people - two elders, one priest, and one priestess, which was Hidan's sister. Kinjutsu is a very difficult art. Reviving just that amount of people has left Hunce drained to this day, and it's been almost two years. They've been slowly recruiting people again, and their ranks are growing fast. Hidan wasn't condemned for this at all, y'know. The Jashinists accepted it as an ultimate sacrifice."

Konan flicked the flower off of her bottle, then took a long drink from it. Kisame was astounded. She really didn't have a life, did she? She was a natural story teller when she was drunk...

"So, why in the world would Hidan do something like that in the first place?" Kisame asked, and Konan set down her bottle.

"A type of revenge. Hidan and Maidan's mother was Head Priestess in the name of Jashin. Of course, she gave all her attention to her oldest girl. The Jashinist religion has never had a Head Priest, not once. It's an odd religion. Well, I don't know shit about their father, but their mother was the ultimate queen bitch. She neglected and tormented her son. Made him a practical slave under his sister's command. It has always been that way, I guess. One day, I guess he just cracked. He was sick of playing alter boy to his family. He wasn't even treated as a normal person, really. Kind of sad, huh? Also bad, after Hidan killed his mother, they needed a new Head. Hidan of course wanted it, but his sister was looking for her own vengeance. She was indeed very powerful. She died only by fluke, is what she often says. She beat Hidan down, back into bitch position. So, the process repeats itself. I think they're all idiots with logs up their asses."

Kisame thought on this for a while. No wonder the guy seemed to crazy, and so fucked in the head. Neglected by one parent, tormented by another, and a sister that obviously didn't care. At all.

After a while, the fire was put out, and Konan was more than fast asleep in her sleeping bag. Kisame lay awake though, staring up at the stars in the glowing night sky. He glared at them with some amount of unhappiness. He just couldn't figure it out. He went from thinking of someone as a dumb, annoying bastard, to a poor, dumb little fool that was pathetically played by life's cruelness. He wondered if somebody out there under these same stars thought the same of himself. But he knew that it wouldn't be. Nobody knew his past. Only the stars. And the stars didn't have opinions of people. They were just there to comfort. That was their only purpose.

* * *

Kisame didn't wake up like he wanted to. Something was watching him from the trees. He could feel it. Something was in there, and whatever it was wasn't happy. The sky was still very dark, and the stars were as bright as ever. It was dark though, because the moon was new.

No. There were more. Samehada wiggled slightly next to Kisame, and he gripped the hilt. He spared a glace over at Konan. She was awake. Her eyes glowed like brilliant sapphires in the light of the stars. There was something deadly in those eyes that made Kisame's inner demons shriek with joy. She had her flower in her hand. It twitched every now and then.

They both stayed still and silent. Kisame sniffed out the chakras carefully. About three people, and some kind of animal... But there was something odd about one of them. A bunch of small chakras stuffed into one form.

Then Kisame saw it - a small bug crawled up onto Kisame's hand. It was a deep purple color, and it had small wings.

"Damn!" Kisame growled, bringing his other hand down on the bug. The bug crunched, and Kisame jumped to his feet. The sleeping blanket fell off of him, revealing yet more bugs on him, and coming towards him.

Konan's eyes widened slightly at the oddity of the sight, but she knew what it meant. She also threw off her sleeping bag, shaking bugs off of her. Swarms of them were now appearing out of nowhere.

"Get over here!" Kisame growled, pulling Samehada up in front of himself and her when she came close.

"What do you think that'll do-" Konan had begun, but then felt what was happening. Bugs stopped in their tracks, dropped off of both of them. Samehada slowly sucked the small chakras from the bugs, but wasn't happy about it. Aburame chakra always tasted foul.

"I'm surprised. What a weapon."

The voice came from the edge of the forest around Konan and Kisame. All three ninja were around them, coming down from the trees. The dog with them was very large, and the closest to them. It's grayish-white fur gleamed in the moonlight. The dog's bark was strong, but the dog was not too intimidating. The ninja couldn't be seen yet, but Kisame could see the gleam of one of their headbands.

"The Village Hidden in the Leaves, huh..." Kisame grinned wildly, his teeth gleaming in the light of the stars. His bloodthirst meter spiked. This is what he wanted.

The bugs weren't coming anymore. They swarmed at the feet of one of the ninja, who took a few steps out of the shadows. He wore a large hood, but you could still see the gleam of his headband and his sunglasses. The hood was attached to a large coat he wore. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of it. Everything about him was normal seeming, but Kisame didn't like how he smelled. Aburame's were such rank creatures.

"What do you want, Aburame?" Konan finally spoke. Her flower had come apart, and little pieces of paper floated next to her hands. So that's what she did. Paper. Kisame would have to go easy with the Water Style around her. "We are not your enemy."

"Konoha could beg to differ." another ninja spoke up. His voice was raspy, and has a lot of spunk. The dog barked after this one spoke. "We know where you're heading."

"Good for you, little boy. And how ironic. An Aburame and an Inuzuka." Kisame scoffed, tapping his fingers on Samehada's hilt. "If you don't want to be made into dinner, you might want to leave."

He could see the other two now. He was correct in his guess of an Inuzuka. It was ugly, too. Spiky brown hair sticking out everywhere, those stupid-ass tattoos or paintings on his cheeks... Was he wearing leather?

The girl was noticeably shorter than the other two. Her hair and eyes reflected the sky perfectly. Her Byakugan practically glowed in the dark. She appeared nervous, but he couldn't really see her well. She was staying quiet. Smart girl.

"We've come here to make sure the Land of Hotsprings is not aided in their next battle." the Aburame sounded like a total smart-ass, but in a quiet way. The Inuzuka just seemed to be a dumb-ass.

"What does a team of kids think they can do against two S-ranked missing ninja?" Konan smartly replied. Her patience was wearing thin. She had a headache from the booze from earlier.

"Looks like we'll have to find out, now won't we?" the Inuzuka was the first to charge them, the large dog by his side. Kisame was ready though. What amateurs.

The kid seemed to yell something before he launched a twisting technique at Kisame and Konan directly. What a reckless kind of attack. Kisame wasn't fully prepared, or else he would have batted Samehada at the dumb kid. Instead, he and Konan had no choice but to jump out of its way. Konan jumped farther back towards the Aburame, who then came at her. Kisame grinning as he noticed the oddity of this technique. The boy and his dog didn't plow into the ground. Their swiveling path turned upwards at last minute, twisting back to get Kisame. Now he was ready. Samehada was briefly tossed aside, and Kisame took stance.

Konan quickly jumped back again, staring straight at the Aburame. She hated bugs.

The Aburame raised his arms, showing off his precious bugs as they crawled all over his arms full of holes. Konan did not appear phased though. Her eyes were barely lidded, and she looked solid as a sculpture. Swarms of bugs crawled out of the Aburame's clothes, hiding in the forests and dark places, she knew. She needed to pay sharp attention not to get touched by those.

Just as the two came barreling toward him, Kisame took a sharp step to the side. This was not easily done, as they grazed his stomach. But it didn't matter. Kisame grabbed them both as they were about to barrel passed him. He caught the Inuzuka by his leg, and the dog by his tail. The Inuzuka had tried to retaliate, but Kisame was quick to fling him and the dog into the ground a little ways away. The boy hit the ground first on his back, then got landed on by his yelping dog. Kisame knew he had to be quick to smash those fleas.

"Kiba!" the girl cried, her attention now on them. She was pretty fast, running up from the tree line to try to stop him before he pounded a fist into the partners on the ground. Her open palms began to glow, and Kisame knew he couldn't get touched by that. He weighed his options quickly, and figured that he needed his chakra paths open now more than anything. He could smash them into the ground at a better opportunity. Kisame withdrew quickly, calling Samehada back to to his side, and he kept a distance. The girl looked stunned at the speed of his withdrawal, but skidded to a halt next to the two on the ground.

"Akamaru, you alright?" Kiba grunted, looking at the dog on top of him. Akamaru whined as he slowly got up off of Kiba. He shook out his hind legs.

"Kiba, are you alright too?" the girl's voice was very high-pitched, and it made Kisame snicker. Imagine if he got a hold of those eyes of hers. Talk about a lot of money in one place...

Paper began to peel off of Konan's skin and clothes, until there was nothing left of her except the pieces of paper spinning in the air around the Aburame. He didn't move an inch. He appeared to be analyzing the situation. It was a difficult one. Sure, he had many bugs, but she was also in many pieces now.

Pieces of paper whisked by him at very fast speeds, coming close to cutting him. But he didn't feel the need to move. She was trying to intimidate him, he thought. When the pieces were actually aiming for him, he moved as little as possible to avoid them. Soon, as more and more unpredictable pieces came flying at him, he had no choice but to really start moving and calculating. The paper was very sharp, easily shredding through any clothes or skin he couldn't get out of the way in time. He was getting covered in paper cuts. The bugs had to stay close to him, or else they got chopped to pieces. Where was she really? Was she focused in one certain point, or was she really in all the paper? What kind of jutsu could stop that?

"Heh. You kids sure are bothersome." Kisame scoffed, waving Samehada around as Kiba got to his feet. "I want to end this quickly."

Kiba growled, but stayed quiet. He'd gotten a taste of only a little bit of Kisame's strength, and it was more than enough to flatten him. Plus, Kisame had a huge amount of chakra.

"Hinata, he's got mounds of chakra. Can you stop it?" Kiba whispered under his breath, looking to her.

Hinata looked somewhat thoughtful, but readied herself in one of those typical Hyuuga stances. "I'll try."

"I'll cover you."

How cute. They were plotting. Kisame was sure he could handle anything they decided to dish out.

Hinata charged at Kisame, her hands glowing and forming into small dragons. She was obviously of the Hyuuga main branch. What fun it would be to kill her, Kisame thought. Her swiftness was hard to follow as she began to circle him. The other two were waiting for their opportunity to jump in. When Hinata finally moved in to strike, Kisame pulled Samehada up and across her hands before she could touch him. That is, he was sure he'd get more than that, but her swiftness aided her again. Though, not much. She made a funny noise as she pulled back. Nonetheless, Kiba and Akamaru charged again, right at Kisame, Kiba riding his dog. They would probably try that technique again, but this time it connected. Kisame wasn't naturally fast, but he was able to bring Samehada close. Kisame was surprised at how much the drill hurt him. He flew back into the forest, smashing into a few trees. Kiba and Akamaru pulled back quickly. Kiba looked tired already, and looked angry. His chakra didn't come in mass amounts, and a good bit got sucked out.

Hinata wasn't far away, and wasn't moving. She was on her knees on the ground, cradling her shaved palms. The pain was excruciating, and blood poured into her white and purple lap. She squeezed her eyes closed, trying not to make a noise.

"Damnit..." was the Aburame's only word after a good while. The paper moved too quickly for his bugs to even attach to it. He couldn't get a good hold on her real position either. He couldn't face her alone. He had a good feeling, even though he was Jonin ranked, she was way past him in terms of skill and finesse. Of course, he'd never really outwardly admit that. Shino jumped back through the limp paper shield, into Hinata's back.

"What's wrong? Scared?" the paper came together very quickly and she stood before him again, but not as solid. He could see the pieces on her skin.

Kisame heaved himself up out of the splintered trees, using Samehada as a balance. He grunted, but felt pretty okay. He was bleeding out of a pretty good hole in his stomach, but it began to repair once Samehada coughed up some chakra for him. Kiba could only stare in wonder.

"Hinata, Kiba, we have to pull out. We can't really handle them alone." Shino looked to his teammates.

Kisame's eye twitched. Getting away? Escaping like cowards? Typical. But not this time.

"Konan, get up a tree. We can't let them get away, now can we? They have information on us now." Kisame liked that excuse. "Besides, I want to show Konoha a thing or two about not underestimating people..."

Konan was quiet, and curious, but did as told. She jumped up into the branches of a tree and climbed.

Shino grabbed Hinata and tried to grab Kiba, but it was too late. Kisame's cheeks filled with water, and spat out massive waves at the small team.

Konan was at the top of a tall oak tree now, watching the swirling water dome form around Kisame and the team. The dome was pretty massive too. She yawned up at the sky. It looked like she was out of the fight now, but she didn't mind. She could see four human forms and one dog form in the water below her. She couldn't see details really. The water was too foggy, and the stars were a little too bright. She watched three of the silhouettes get close together, and watched the dog try to get over there, but was having trouble. Kisame's silhouette was the biggest out of any, and he was about to get bigger. Her eyes widened as Kisame grabbed Samehada, but Samehada began to meld into Kisame's arm. She rubbed her eyes, thinking she was seeing things, but when she looked back, Samehada was gone. Kisame was huge. She could see the outline of a giant fin and a giant tail. She could hear his deep laughter. He really was a beast, wasn't he? And now she could only listen to the screams of the team after that, and some faint barking, because the water in the dome grew clouded. Not with the light, but with the deep blackish-red of blood. For once, Konan felt in awe, and felt a small fear tickle her gut. She watched three Konoha headbands float to the top of the dome, and it was soon quiet.

* * *

Four large bags lay next to the campfire the next day. Konan eyed them carefully, making sure there were no traces of blood on the outsides. Kisame sat against an oak tree, looking into a jar.

"You want any of the money? I mean, I don't need _all_ of it. There's going to be a lot of it." Kisame asked, not looking up. Two eyeballs floated limply in the jar.

"No. I've got enough as it is. Besides, I didn't kill her." Konan chuckled, looking over at Kisame, who looked as relaxed as ever. And he was. Killing those kids was more than worth it, even if it started a war between himself and the Hyuuga clan, because he killed their precious _heir_. His bloodlust was gone for now. He had fed that hunger well with those kids.

"I hope Konoha enjoys what's left of 'em." Kisame finally looked at the bags. He had cut each of then into sections, even the dog. He buried their heads and lower sections in the ground not to far from their camp. In the bags were their arms, legs, and torsos, still wearing clothes.

All the sudden, somebody stumbled out of the forest off to the side of the trail. Neither Kisame or Konan looked up, because they knew who it was.

"_Fuckers_, there you are!" Hidan growled at them, waving his big red scythe around as he shook out his feet. "I _finally_ found you guys! What the hell have you guys been doing?! It smells like dumbshit over here, like seriously!"

Then he saw the bags on the ground.

"You guys are fucking weirdos, seriously. You taking those with us?" he asked, looking at Konan.

"No. We're sending them to Konoha. We got attacked last night." Konan said simply, standing up. She raised her fingers up in the jutsu sign of the tiger, and touch her fingers to a nearby tree. Paper peeled off the tree and wrapped around the bags. That is, after she set a note on one of the bags. Once the body bags were completely wrapped in paper, they disappeared in an explosion of smoke.

"So." Kisame tucked the jar away in a safe place in his bag, then stood up, Samehada strapped to his back. "To the Land of Hotsprings, everybody?"

"_Fuck_ yeah!"

Kisame walked a little behind the other two as Hidan proceded to bug Konan. Kisame felt a lot of tension was off of him now. He wasn't a bloodthirsty timebomb anymore. He liked it a little better that way. His insides still itched, though. He knew more was to come. He couldn't wait for more war to hit them. He really just couldn't wait any longer.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed. By the way, I have nothing against any of the people that are currently dead. There is going to be a part two to this chapter, because as you can tell, it's very long and involved. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review, and thank you to those who have already reviewed~! ((c) Masashi Kishimoto)


	4. Chapter 4

**Genkaku Part II**

_"I get stronger in direct proportion to how strong my opponent is. I do not tire, and cannot be defeated." - Kisame_

"Officials of Konoha are completely stunned by the results of intelligence's search to identify the three beheaded bodies that arrived at the front gates yesterday, wrapped in paper. The bodies were missing their heads and lower halves. The bodies were identified as Aburame Shino, Inuzuka Kiba and his ninja hound Akamaru, and the heir to the Hyuuga clan, Hyuuga Hinata. All three clans are outraged by this act. A note was also found in the wrappings of one of the bodies. It was written in a special code. When deciphered, it read: 'With love'."

Kisame couldn't help but laugh hysterically at his television. It was too funny, seeing all those government officials looking so scared, with their tails between their legs. Konoha thought they were so good. They're no better than anybody else. And Kisame wanted to prove that to them.

The Land of Hotsprings wasn't big at all, Kisame realized when they had arrived. The people there were all crazy weirdos. At least Hidan gave them a good place to stay - a small, well-kept house near the center of the main city. Konan was in the next bedroom, doing who knows what. She agreed to stay because it wasn't a motel. She was probably sleeping right now, since they hadn't gotten much the night before. Kisame didn't feel tired, though. He had been looking at that map for a while, the one Maidan had given him. The colors didn't flicker too often, but it was fun to watch the debates the nations had on whether they wanted to try to take the Hotsprings or not. A lot of nations went to no color. They were probably scared of what Kisame and Konan had done to those Konoha ninja. With ease, no doubt.

Otherwise, Kisame didn't like the Land of Hotsprings. Like, for instance, getting attacked while walking down the street in daylight was perfectly normal. Konan had killed someone who had jumped them while on the way to the house. He had come running out of nowhere, and Konan was so quick to react Kisame didn't even know what had happened until the guy was on the ground dead with a piece of paper sticking out the other side of his head. Also, Jashinists were extremely annoying. They waved their bibles around at you when you went by, or just followed you and bugged you pointlessly, because _they_ were _bored_. Kisame just wanted to rip their heads off sometimes, really.

After a while alone in his room, Kisame's mood took a hit. He was hit by one of those random strong emotions. It happened to him a lot. This time, it was loneliness. The television was turned off, and Kisame went looking through his bag again. He was careful to set the jar of Byakugans on the side table next to the bed. He found his book, with the picture tucked inside. He slipped the picture out of the book and glowered at it. The faces were all so frozen, and so dead, never to move in that way again. That is, a smile. A true smile. Each and every person in the picture wore one. The little girl, the littlest boy, the tall man, and the monster of a woman. All smiling, all looking a little different. The world in the picture was a dream though. It was like it never happened. Those people didn't exist anymore. That beach wasn't real. That house was never built. That family never came to be.

Kisame stuffed the picture away again, and tossed everything off of his bed and onto the floor. The bed creaked as Kisame laid down on it. He only wore a pair of pajama pants now, and his hair was a little damp from the shower he had taken a while ago. The bed was pretty comfortable, but it didn't help ease Kisame's thoughts. If he couldn't think about killing, he could only think about pain. He had killed for so long, it seemed like there was nothing else left of him except the monster. This all just kind of sucked. Way to play the damn part, right?

Well, bring the killing back. Why not? There were plenty of things he could destroy to make himself feel better.

Kisame heaved himself up off of his bed and grabbed Samehada. Shoes? Kisame didn't even think of them.

"Going out, okay?" he called quickly to Konan, who seemed to grunt in reply. Yeah, she was sleeping.

The forests were thick, but not like the forests of Konoha. Those were real forests. These forests were composed of bent and broken, scrawny trees. And they were all crowded together like a herd for crying out loud. Kisame reached out to grab one of the trees. When he squeezed hard enough, the tree just snapped under his skin. The inside of some of the trees were hollow, which was a little weird to Kisame. He felt frustrated though. The trees in Konoha were different. They were tall, large, thick, and it took a great bit of effort to break them down. These trees were pathetic. There was not use in blowing down a bunch of these. They'd disintegrate before he could touch them. Little mousy trees weren't worth his time, but they were worth his anger, for sure.

Kisame's anger was starting to mount. He got like this when there was nothing he felt he was useful for at any one moment. He always felt bothered by it. He loved the feeling of a thrill. He loved the adrenaline rush. He needed it, really. There was nothing here to destroy, except the flimsy trees and the already dead bodies that you sometimes stumbled on.

That's when Kisame saw it. A flash of green around one of the clumps of trees. It startled him a little at first. Was it a person?

Kisame moved quickly over to the clump of trees, peaking around them. Whatever it was wasn't there now. It only gave Kisame a stomach ache thinking about what it could be. Ninja, animal, whatever. He'd lost it, so it shouldn't matter.

Yeah right.

Kisame was even more startled when his pocket began to vibrate. He started down at the pocket with a glare, then reached into it to see what he'd left. To his amusement, it was the map he'd rolled up and stuffed in there without thinking. When did he do that?

Kisame unrolled the map with almost a bitter spite to him, but when he stared at the colors of the map, a grin crossed his face. The whole nation of Konohagakure was flashing a vibrant red. So, Konoha was attacking? Then that stupid green flying blob was probably a Leaf Nin. How stupid. Kisame's big and blue. How do you not notice that right away, instead of just running right in front of his face? What idiots.

Kisame turned and took his time walking back to the house. He wondered if they were attacking this instant, or getting ready to. Konan came out of the house just as Kisame came up to go inside. She stared at him for a few minutes, almost with an annoyed look.

"Hidan will be here shortly. We're needed on the front line. You know the attack's started, right?"

"No. Of course not." Kisame grinned, but Konan didn't look amused. She shoved past him, brushing off her pants. Kisame grinned, leaning against the house. He really was bipolar, wasn't he? Stoic, then angry, now somewhat relaxed and a little excited. How odd. But it didn't bug his mind too much. Those kind of things were trivial. He knew the only reason he was calm was because they weren't _actually_ on the field yet. Or whatever.

Konan seemed upset for some reason. She wasn't even wearing her makeup, and her hair wasn't up. It was somewhat long, and hung in her face a little. Her paper flower was in her hand. He knew she hadn't been sleeping, for sure. What was her deal?

"You alright?" Kisame asked solemnly, and no longer in a smart-ass tone.

"Never better." she sure did have a harsh lip when she was in the mood to have one. She obviously hadn't been drinking . Women and their moments. He had to keep reminding himself that she really _was_ a woman. She had several male tendencies, really. And she obviously didn't enjoy being female, in a way. Or, that's how Kisame saw it. Maybe he was wrong. He didn't know.

They stood around for a good while. Already, they could hear screaming coming from the inner parts of the main village, and a few loud 'kabooms'. Kisame's mood kind of sank though. Something about the way Konan looked at the billowing black smoke made him feel odd. She wasn't excited, and she wasn't stoic for once. She looked deeply upset. Did she get like this before getting into battles of this caliber? Kisame couldn't even begin to guess, but her chakras were disturbed, and neither he nor Samehada liked it. Samehada, at the time, was pretty riled up. It never got enough chakra from the small kills, like those kids. It was hoping for something bigger.

"Hey, _fuckers_! It's an _emergency_!" Hidan suddenly skidded around the corner on the path in front of the house. He was waving his scythe around like a mad man. There was already blood on it, and a little on Hidan. "You guys ready?! This is gonna be _intense_, damn seriously!"

Hidan also confused Kisame. 'Damn seriously'? God.

"Are we heading right in?" Konan asked right away, sort of glaring at Hidan.

"Of course! They brought the whole fat-ass group with 'em!" Hidan stopped a moment to catch a breath. He wiped is forehead with his cloak sleeve. He was actually wearing a cloak. The only reason he was wearing it was probably because he had tons of weapons hidden in there. "The Hokage's here with 'em! My bitch of a sister and Hunce went to get him. That old fuck's going down!"

Danzo, the Hokage. He was the practical reason for this war. He was no good, and even the villagers of Konoha knew it.

"Okay, okay, seriously, enough of this. We gotta fucking haul ass, and quick!" Hidan turned again, and ran down the path. He was slow, and ran like an idiot, in Kisame's opinion. Nonetheless, Kisame followed after Konan when she took off. She looked greatly bothered now. She sure was complicated. _Too _complicated.

Hidan had lots of fun leading them along, for sure. He took a zig-zaggy path through the woods, but they did get there faster. They approached the edge of the main city quickly. Homes looked like they were on fire.

"Right to the center, guys!" Hidan yelled back, slicing at any Konoha Nin he spotted. There were quite a few of them. Most of them looked young, like genin and chuunin, fighting the Jashinist villagers. Konan and Kisame headed through the streets, Hidan spotting them as they went. If Hidan was good at one thing, it was head-shots. He flung that scythe like nothing Kisame'd ever seen before. As they approached the center of the city, they could see the giant chapel on fire. More people were wearing Konoha Jonin vests. Hidan actually skid to a halt at one point, and Konan and Kisame had no choice but to do the same.

"_You aren't going anywhere, you religious fucks_!" A short woman with prickly brown hair was down on practically all fours before them. Behind her was a massive bluish colored wolf, who's bark made Hidan shudder in an odd way. The woman looked fierce, with sharp canines and slim eyes, and her pupils were practical slits. Her finger nails weren't finger nails, at least not any more. They were sharp claws. She was geared up in a Konoha Jonin vest, and an abundance of other accessories. Her wolf didn't have anything except for an eye patch over one eye. He _really was _massive, even more massive than the dog Kisame had butchered.

"Get outta the way, _bitch_!!" Hidan practically screamed at her. There was a numbing amount of noise around them, now that Kisame noticed.

She did the opposite though. She came charging at them suddenly. Her speed was nearly flawless, and she growled viciously. Hidan was shoved out of the way by Konan, who's arms rapidly collapsed into paper. The paper shot out at the dog woman. The paper was sharp, and powerful to get hit with, surprisingly. The woman was flung back, but her wolf charged right through the paper.

"Duck!!" Kisame hollered at the top of his lungs, ripping Samehada off his back. Konan practically had to throw herself backwards onto her practically non-existent paper hands to avoid it, but she did it just in time for Kisame to swing mighty Samehada into the face of the wolf. The effect was more of a baseball bat than a sword. The wolf yelped viciously as it flew back. Some of it's skin and fur was shaved off, but it looked almost unaffected. That wolf was heavy. Not to mention, Samehada didn't take well to the chakras the woman and the wolf put off. Samehada 'gigi'ed in complaint.

Konan was quick to pull herself back up to stand, and so was Hidan. His eyes were slightly wide, but it didn't look like it was surprise. In fact, he looked like a maniac right now. Konan's hands melded back together quickly, the paper a little bloody.

The dog woman was right back up as well. She had several cuts, but she ignored them well. Her wolf didn't look affected, either, even though his muzzle was practically shaved.

"That's what you get, you dumb bitch! You stopped the _wrong_ fuckers!!" Hidan cried, swinging his scythe around. "Try that again, and you'll seriously be dead!"

The woman growled fiercely at them. Now that Kisame looked at her, she looked like the Inuzuka boy. Not all Inuzuka's looked the same, in a way. But those two definitely looked the same. Probably closely related. Like a mother, or something. Well, it wasn't his fault the kid died. He fucked with the wrong guy, obviously. Now if only the mother would realize this was the same way her son died.

"Hidan, Kisame, go on." Konan elbowed at Kisame a little. Kisame was surprised. "They need you elsewhere. I can handle her myself."

"You sure? She kinda looks a little..." Kisame looked back and forth between the two women.

"Just go. It doesn't matter. We're here to get a job done, and that's that." Konan had hardened up again. What a friggin trooper.

"Hidan, let's go!" Kisame yelled at him, running over and shoving him so he would actually move instead of sit there and wave a big ass bone in front of the she-wolf's face. Hidan reluctantly moved, and he and Kisame ran down a side street. The wolf woman looked thoroughly pissed, but when she was about to lunge for the two, Konan stepped in front of the side street. The woman stayed still, growling lightly. Her wolf barked angrily.

"We can't let them get away Tsume!" the wolf barked powerfully at his mistress, who looked as if she was in deep thought. "We can't let them-"

"I _know_..." she growled, glaring at Konan with a killer stare. Konan looked wasn't phased, and stood calmly with a hand on her hip. "But... I don't image they'll be getting too far away _anyways_..."

"They're not your opponents now." Konan practically had to shout. "I am, and I can guarantee you won't see either of them ever again."

Hidan led Kisame towards the center part of the village, but was careful to take side roads and alleys instead of main roads. There were lots of powerful enemy ninja, now that Kisame looked at it. They were rampantly ripping apart Jashinists, but the Jashinists seemed to be holding their own somehow. They sure were an odd sort of people.

"God damnit, the chapel's in fucking _pieces_ now..." Hidan grumbled loudly as they ran towards the center, and the destroyed chapel was now in sight.

Hidan seemed pretty distracted, and Kisame was lucky he caught on _at all_.

"Hidan, MOVE!" Kisame bellowed, grabbing Hidan's cloak and yanking him out of the way. Samehada had warned of a pretty big chakra powering up around the next corner, and for a good reason. A flat hand breezed barely past Hidan's face and smashed into the wall of the building next to them. That part of the wall crumbled, and the whole building came tumbling down after it. Kisame had to drag Hidan back down the alley the way they'd come, then let him go behind him.

_ "Holy fucking-!!" _Hidan cried, almost frightened, as he fell back onto his ass. Kisame grappled Samehada out in front of him, taking a battle-ready stance, waiting for the smoke to clear. Samehada wriggled slightly in warning. Kisame gnashed his teeth in anticipation. Hidan was quiet as he heaved himself up with the help of his scythe.

When the smoke cleared, a man stood on the rubble of the building. His long black hair whipped along with the wind. His eyes were as white as snow, and the veins were popping out all around them. He wore a Jonin vest, sure, but he also wore a long robe, with the clan symbol of the Hyuuga clan on the back. He had his arms all tucked into the opposite sleeves and stuff, and he wore the regular pants and everything. His seemed horribly arrogant, which made Kisame growl slightly to himself. These were the kind of assholes he hated the most. Dumb cocky assholes that deserved to get their.... Never mind. God.

"Hey, you fucker, that was _almost_ my _face_, seriously!!" Hidan yelled at him, but the man seemed not to be listening. In fact, he was staring in amazement at Kisame. Kisame could tell this loser was totally goggling at his chakra. Impressive, wasn't it? Yeah.

"What do you want? You wanna move yourself and your pile so we can proceed, or do I have to move it and you myself?" Kisame growled, balancing Samehada against his shoulder carefully. This guy wasn't one he wanted to seriously provoke... Or, wait, was he?

"God, look at that cocky... I'll shove his fucking d-...." that was when Kisame decided to start ignoring Hidan's pointless mumbling.

But the Hyuuga clan Leader was still staring at Kisame. But now that Kisame realized it, he wasn't staring at him anymore - he was staring at Samehada. Kisame wondered what could be going through the guy's mind right now...

"You... killed my daughter." Hiashi growled suddenly, pulling his arms out of his sleeves, taking a stance with one palm facing Kisame and the other near his side. "You will not pass."

"Get ready for an ass-whipping, little bitch!!" it was ironic for Tsume to say this, especially since Konan was taller. But, nonetheless, Tsume and Kuromaru both charged. Konan bit her lip as her arms split into pieces of paper again. Tsume had meant to lunge at her, but she had to skid to a halt early because Konan was gone. Paper was flying around wildly, and Tsume glared at the white mirage.

Kuromaru growled and tried to bite at paper that came to close to him, but it was in vain. The paper was fast.

Tsume's anger only spiked.

"You think this'll stop us, you coward?" Tsume growled, jumping back close to her wolf, holding her clawed hands out in front of her. "You'll have to do better than that, you know!"

Konan was silent. Tsume's voice was loud and overly annoying, like Hidan's. It almost gave her a headache.

The paper started whipping around faster. Tsume began to lunge at and attack any paper that even came close. Konan was surprised with how reckless this woman was. She didn't care how badly she got cut up. She was shredding any paper she could get her hands on. Konan figured she'd be smarter than she looked, in a dumb way. Kind of like Kisame. Or something.

The paper was all Konan. Every bit of her was a piece of paper. Tsume was shredding so many, and as many as would come close, that she'd notcie the paper that Konan kept purposely away from her. Those were the pieces of paper that contained things such as organs and vitals. Konan would have to get a little more clever.

The paper began massing in certain places around Tsume now. Soon enough, there were three paper clones sitting there, surrounding her. Tsume growled at each, down on all fours.

"You're certainly very wild. You don't exactly think things through, do you? I'd certainly hope you would. Otherwise, this will end very soon." Konan's voice carried on the wind very weirdly, in a wispy way, and it had no emotion in it. Tsume scoffed at this, with an odd grin.

"Oh, don't worry. I've got a few cute tricks up my sleeve, you know."

The three paper clones raised their arms to the sides, a little towards the sky. Pieces of rolled up paper shot out of the tips of their fingers, forming together high above Tsume's head. Finally, Tsume was trapped into a giant paper cage with the three Konans. Konan made sure to reinforce the paper 'bars' to make sure that flippy woman didn't just try to ram her way out. Luckily, to prevent that, pieces of sharp paper stuck out at all the points where paper was bonded together. It was like a deathtrap kind of thing. Like Mad Max in the Thunder Dome. How ironic.

"Fucking... DAMNIT!" Hidan was pretty furious. "My bitch of a sister SAID I had to bring you guys to the center of the village... I'm gonna get an ass-whipping if this isn't quick!!"

"Shut up Hidan. Just don't get in the way or anything, okay?" Kisame growled, and Hidan glared.

"If I can get some of his fucking blood, this battle will be more than over, seriously."

Hiashi ran at them suddenly, and Kisame knew this would be a tricky fight. He wasn't very good with direct close combat like what the Hyuugas liked to throw out. They were all ridiculous. Before Kisame could do anything, Hidan jumped in the way. Apparently this kind of fighting was what he was good at. Hidan jumped into Hiashi's way, using the neck of his scythe to block Hiashi's flat hand. Kisame was stunned that the scythe didn't break under the force. But it was the perfect opportunity for Kisame to swing Samehada down onto Hiashi. Kisame came quickly around Hidan's side, swinging Samehada down but in a diagonal movement.

Kisame only narrowly missed Hiashi, because he was prepared. The least that happened was a few rocks went flying after Hiashi, because Samehada kicked them up. Hidan was laughing as he pursued Hiashi. Hiashi could only try to dodge as his back hit the big rubble pile. Kisame didn't exactly feel like pursuing, but he did too. He needed to get this guy into some water. Somehow. And he didn't feel like drowning half the people in the area with his water dome.

Hiashi used the rubble pile, barely stable, as a support to launch his legs out at Hidan. Hidan got hit hard in the gut by both of Hiashi's feet, but tried anyway to cut him with the scythe. It was futile, however. Hiashi wasn't even scratched. Kisame chucked Samehada at Hiashi, which was a kind of weird choice, now that he thought about it. Either way, Hiashi did what Kisame wanted. He hunched and moved to avoid it. Without Samehada, Kisame was faster. He came up over Hiashi and drilled an elbow into his back. There was nothing Hiashi could really do about it, or so it seemed, so he took a front-full of concrete. He smashed into the concrete pretty good too, and Kisame felt pretty satisfied, even if it was a fake, which it was. Kisame didn't exactly know how he got a hold of a log that big in the middle of the city, but what was it to him? The Hiashi exploded into dust, and hence, a log.

Hiashi ran up next to Kisame, jabbing him right in the side. Kisame only grunted though. It was the Gentle Fist, anyways. Hidan's scythe came flying out of nowhere and flew past Hiashi's face. He had to bend himself back to avoid it, but he hadn't noticed the rope attached to it. The scythe came back and carved across Hiashi's chest, leaving three cuts to bleed. Kisame fell back on a knee a little way away, and pumped his chakra. Hiashi had closed a big chakra spot. Kisame needed to open it back up. He had more than enough chakra to do it anyways. It would take a while.

"_Fin_ally!" Hidan caught his scythe in his left hand. There were two big red foot prints on his stomach. "Game over, dumbass. Kisame, cover me here man!"

Chakra could wait. He still had more than enough, and it wasn't like he was dying.

"What are you-?" Kisame was about to ask, them stopped himself. Was Hidan just stupid enough to blurt out whatever big plan he had and spoil it because their opponent was right there? Kisame didn't want to make any bets right now.

Pieces of paper folded into small butterflies floated around the cage. At random intervals, they'd crunch up into the size of bullets and shoot at Tsume. Kuromaru was quick to jump on his partner's back and transform into a copy of her. Like the boy, they tried to drill their way out. The two spun like a turbine through most of the paper bullets, and they tried to force their way out of the paper cage. The paper was holding well, but Konan knew it wouldn't last long against that kind of a wild attack. Luckily, the attack isn't meant to last that long. The second Tsume and her clone came out of the turbine, they were shot with multiple paper bullets. Tsume yelled, her clothes beginning to shred. The clone disappeared, and the wolf took the hits as well. After a moment or two, Konan let up, watching Tsume with curiosity. She was still on her feet, and she was shredded up pretty badly.

Tsume raised her hands though, and with a few quick animal signs, she spat a flurry of fire balls at the surrounding cage. Now, Konan could block a lot of things, but she _hated_ fire. The paper in the way of the fire broke apart in a quick flurry, and the wolf jumped after the fire out of the cage. But Tsume didn't follow. In fact, she was heading right for one of the paper clones. That is, the _real_ one. Tsume lashed out with long claws, and Konan wasn't prepared. She couldn't jump back. She couldn't jump to the sides, she would get attacked worse. She just had to brace herself. Konan grunted as she was thrown back, Tsume's claws raking across her chest. Konan flew out of the cage, but it sealed up quickly, leaving Tsume left inside. Konan was quick to sit back up though, because the wolf was coming at her now. Konan took a deep breath in, and blew out a wave of air at the dog, powerful enough to throw it back a little way. She got up quickly, but not too fast. The dog did not come again though. Instead, he looked to Tsume. The cage was now decreasing in size around her, slowly. The two clones melded into the cage, creating more spikes.

Konan choked on a little bit of blood, and spat it on the ground away from herself. Her chest was bleeding profusely, no matter how much she wrapped it with her paper and bandages. She couldn't get hit like that again.

"You sure are lookin' a little bad right now." Tsume scoffed, biting into her thumb. "I'm not done."

Tsume smacked her hands to the ground. Konan knew it was a summoning jutsu, but the summons didn't appear. Kuromaru was charging her again, so she didn't have much time to think. She jumped to the side when Kuromaru swung for her, but much to her dismay. The second her heel hit the ground, a pair of powerful jaws came up out of the concrete, smashing it open. The jaws locked around Konan's ankle, but Konan did her best to ignore it, which was extremely hard. It was painful, but she knew there were others. The next dog came up on her other side to get her other heel, but Konan was quick to smash it in the face with her shoe. The last dog came up behind her, and Konan had no choice but to try another paper attack. The cloth of the back of Konan's shirt peeled off into paper. The paper rolled up and shot at the third dog, sending it flying back with a yelp. Konan glanced down at the dog that had her leg, but had to look up again to see Kuromaru in her face. This time, Konan had to revert to taijutsu. The dog was coming right for her, claws out, teeth bared. Konan took a step back with her good foot, putting herself into position. Her hand curled into a fist, and with a loud yell, Konan swung a charged punch at the dog. Her punch connected with the dog's jaw, but the dog's claws connected lightly with her face. As the dog flew back, the claws lightly dragged across her face. Konan was able to pull herself back enough to avoid an eye injury, at the very least. When Kuromaru flew back, Konan took her good high heel and smashed in into the muzzle of the dog around her leg. The dog yelped as it returned back underground.

Tsume had been trying to rip out of her cage, but it hadn't worked. She was happy with her dogs though. They had taken out one of Konan's legs.

Konan was feeling pretty tired now, and she was bleeding a lot. She had to keep wiping blood out of her right eye, because the cut above it was bleeding. She spat again, and cracked her neck.

"What a chick." Tsume snorted, but it wasn't in an amused way. She was now down on her knees, close to the ground. She had no choice. The cage was that small now.

Konan was sick of this, however. She ripped pieces of paper off her arms, and they formed into small paper fans. She ran at Kuromaru now. Running on her injured leg hurt like hell, and it was very hard to balance, but she knew she couldn't blubber about it now. She needed to kill the dog. Then the woman.

Kuromaru ran at her too, and Konan knew just how she'd do this. When the dog finally jumped to tackle her, Konan lifted her arms up above her head and crunched the fans in her hands, straight. Kuromaru's jaw practically wrapped around Konan's stomach, and his force threw her back. But when Konan's back hit the ground, she shoved the folded paper fans into the dog's neck in an X-pattern. Tsume yelled for her wolf, but it was useless. He wasn't dead, but he sure did let go of Konan quick. Konan reared her knees back into her face and kicked the dog off of her, and it fell back limply next to the paper cage. Konan was now bleeding profusely from each side, but it didn't matter anymore.

Hidan ran his tongue up the edge of the scythe's blade, licking up Hiashi's blood. Kisame was positive of one thing now - Hidan _really was_ fucked in the head. And, like, in a really _bad_ way. Hidan's skin began changing color as he used Hiashi's blood to make a Jashinist symbol at his own feet. At the end of this, Hidan looked like a skeleton. Sure was the stupidest skeleton Kisame had ever seen though. Still, Hiashi looked greatly unnerved, and had tried to run up to attack, but stopped short when Hidan actually did it.

"This'll teach you fuckers not to mess with Lord Jashin's people!! We can now suffer together in the name of _Jashin_!!"

Kisame couldn't believe it when Hidan shoved a stake through his gut. _A friggin metal stake_. What in the holy hell was even going on?!

"Hidan, you idiot, are you-" Kisame had to stop short again when he saw the effects. Hiashi doubled over suddenly, spewing a mass amount of blood onto the ground. There was no outside wound, but there was obviously one inside.

Kisame felt so confused, he just decided to ignore it. Besides, it didn't seem like this guy was going anywhere now. What a waste of time, in a way. This guy didn't even look like he had a will to fight. Even when he talked about how Kisame killed Hinata. He probably lost hope when his last daughter had died. Hanabi? Killed during an attack. That's why Kisame never wanted kids. Too much pain.

"Ah, man, can't you feel it?! Jashin's coming to take you to _hell, fucker_!" Hidan's voice cracked a lot. He proceeded to stick multiple stakes through anywhere he could get himself. Hiashi was now doubled over on the ground, and blood was pouring out of his mouth. Kisame put Samehada onto his back and walked over to Hiashi.

Tsume, in her anger, smashed the ground under her paper cage. A large crater allowed her to escape, and she ran over to the dying Kuromaru.

"DAMN!" she bellowed, glaring at Konan, her eyes crazy. She wanted to attack. She wanted to rip Konan apart. Be she couldn't, and she didn't. She needed to save her dying partner. "You little bitch... _You're so lucky_!"

And with that, Tsume disappeared, carrying her wolf over her shoulders. The other three dogs had dissappeared a while ago, and now Konan was alone. It was quieting down. She didn't know if it was really quieting down, or it was the blood loss making her disoriented. She found a cozy piece of building to sit on now, and she patched up her wounds as best as she could. She wasn't a medic though, and she didn't really feel like finding one. She needed to find her two guys. After a small rest, Konan headed towards the center of town.

Kisame reached into his bag and set the jar of eyeballs on the ground in front of Hiashi's face. He kept a firm hand on it as he crouched down to look into Hiashi's eyes.

"You're pathetic. We're already beyond your time, old man. You should've stayed at home." Kisame sneered, moving the jar around a little, the eyes bobbing back and forth. "Revenge isn't revenge unless you're in the right shape to kick the right kind of ass. Say hello to your daughter for me."

"And the _grand finale_, bitch!" Hidan picked up his scythe and swung it around, then grabbed the neck and shoved the biggest blade through the center of his chest. Hiashi's eyes got cloudy and red, and then they closed. Hidan's laughter was blocked out by Kisame's mind. He was pretty sure now why Konan was upset.

* * *

Kisame's jar was now full, with four eyeballs floating lazily around in the greenish liquid. He stared at it with an odd kind of glance, his mind half there and half elsewhere. The center of the city was deserted accept for himself, Konan, and Maidan. Maidan was waiting impatiently for Hidan, obviously. The battle had ended long ago, and Hidan still wasn't back from cleaning himself up. Maidan had mostly healed up Konan, but Konan passed out anyways. Her head rested on Kisame's knee. She had no problems sleeping on the dirty street. Hunce had been taken by higher medics to the hospital, which was the main reason Maidan was freaking. Danzo wasn't easy, and, in fact, if so many of his men hadn't been killed and mortally wounded, he could have killed Maidan and Hunce and taken over. But he didn't, and Hunce was the only one severely hurt of the two of them. Maidan was also angry they had arrived to the center of the city so late. They didn't even get to _see_ Danzo. She blamed Hidan, of course.

Kisame didn't feel well. Nothing about today was really good. Dead bodies and limbs pilled in the streets. His head spun. His chakra was messing up, thanks to Mr. Gentle Fist. He didn't like this, and he didn't feel like ever doing it again. God. Dumb cult idiots.

* * *

That's the rest of chapter 3. Things are getting interesting, yes? Well, you'll love the next chapter especially I'm sure. Anyways, please review! I hoped you liked it! ( (c) Masashi Kishimoto )


	5. Chapter 5

**Fuuten**

_"Life's only beautiful ... because it's so fleeting, so transient." - Deidara_

_The water was as clear as could be. Kisame could see the fish swimming up near the shore, that's how clear it was. He tried to reach into the water to grab one, but he was too slow, and the fish swam off. Kisame looked closely at his wet hands, then clapped them together to see what they'd do. The clap was more muffled than usual, but nothing special. Kisame's hands were taken up by a pair of bigger hands suddenly. The skin tones were different, and so were the hand sizes. These hands that held his were larger, with a tan skin color. They were very rough hands, but gentle at the same time. Kisame looked up at the long, rough face above his and smiled. The man standing above him wore a long pair of overall-looking pants, a white shirt underneath, and a big pair of shiny black boots. He had a rough but kind face, and he was smiling down at Kisame. His face was a little scruffy, like he hadn't shaved for a while. He had short black hair that seemed to spike up naturally in a peculiar way, and he had stunningly kind eyes, which reflected the blue of the sea. _

_ "What're you doing out here this early?' the man asked in a deep voice. It was soft, but you could tell it was naturally very loud. _

_ Kisame stared up at the man with an odd look, and tilted his head to the side. Words? Not many._

_ "Let's get you back inside then." the man picked Kisame up in his strong arms, and Kisame giggled. His voice was much higher pitched than normal, and he was very small. "Your sister's already up. She's trying to make breakfast."_

_ They were on a beach. A big, beautiful beach. The sun had just barely come up over the horizon of water far off in the distance. They lived next to the ocean. A little ways away from the water and all the sand was a thick treeline. As they walked down the beach a little, Kisame spotted a small house tucked into the treeline. It was all wooden, and looked like it was made by hand. In fact, it was. There was a small front porch that faced out to the ocean and beach. A few towels were hung over the wooden railing, and there was a small table and chairs with some empty cups sitting screen door to the house was open, but the big wooden door was not. The man carrying Kisame stepped up onto the porch by the three little wooden steps in front of it, and swung open the big door._

_ The inside was nice and cozy warm. It was a little house, even though it was two stories. All the bedrooms were upstairs is why. The living room was very large, with lots of cozy old furniture and a fireplace, which was the source of the heat. In the deluxe kitchen, you could hear something messing around with silverwear and bowls and different things. Kisame was set in a small armchair by one of the little windows. The tall man went into the kitchen._

_ "What in the- Oh my, look at what you've done! How did you-"_

_ "It was an accident, I swear! I was gonna clean it up afterwards..."_

_ Kisame climbed up on the back of the chair with a sinister little grin on his face. He peaked out the window happily, then he noticed._

_ There was a large woman half laying on the shore. The rest of her was dipped in the water. In fact, the rest of her wasn't even woman. It was a long, long tail, with a fin on the end. She was huge for a woman, too. Her blue arms were crossed in the sand, helping to prop her up. Her hair was long and blue, and it draped on the beach around her. Her eyes were a bright gold color. She had gills under her eyes and on her shoulders as well, but it was mostly covered with her hair. She had an abundance of jewelry around her neck, on her ears, and in her thick hair. She had a huge dorsal fin on her back, and from what he could see, her long blue fingers were webbed. Her breasts were rather large, and were also covered up by her hair and the sand. She was grinning at him, and could see him in the window. Kisame pressed his small hands to the window, and pressed his nose to it too. It looked like she chuckled, and she raised a hand and waved at him. _

_ Suddenly, the blinds to the window were pulled closed, and it was dark._

* * *

The second Kisame awoke, he stumbled his way quickly to the bathroom. After vomiting up everything he had eaten that day, he sat in the dark corner of the bathroom. He shivered a little, and stared at the dark floor. In fact, he couldn't even see the floor. Kisame felt so sick in so many ways. He was covered in a cold sweat and his hands wouldn't stop trembling. He felt powerless and hurt. He didn't feel big, tall, and muscular anymore. He felt like that little child again, looking out that window. The window you could never open.

The door to the bathroom was already closed and locked. Kisame didn't like seeing light flood into the bathroom from under the door.

"Kisame," it was Konan. She must have woken up to hear him stumbling and fumbling to the bathroom. "Are you in there? You alright?"

"Yeah." Kisame coughed. "Go back to bed." he was barely able to say it, but he managed. He just wanted the darkness again. He just wanted to sink into it and disappear and never come back. Never have to think again, or breath, or hurt, or kill. Just black, everywhere, all around.

The light outside the door turned off after another moment or two. He didn't even hear her walk down the hall.

* * *

Kisame felt crappy the next day. Not only did he not sleep well, but he had to travel alone again. He said his goodbyes to the Jashinists with some hesitation. They were a weird crowd, certainly. They got worked up really easily.

"You gotta remember to visit, seriously. We make a damn good team!" Hidan grinned, but also looked dizzy. He was still recovering from massive blood-loss. "If you don't..."

"Don't worry, Hidan. I'll come visit, jeez. Don't have a heart attack." Kisame chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "Get well soon, I guess."

"You too fucker!"

Maidan and Hunce also came to Hidan's hospital room to say goodbye, which surprised Kisame.

"Your skills were a great help to us. I do hope we will require your services again." Maidan said curtly, which Kisame translated to a technical goodbye...

"Please do visit! You are always welcome, friend!" Hunce smiled and had even hugged Kisame, which made him very very awkward. But, of course, Hunce didn't care.

Kisame left the hospital early. The more he stuck around, the more he didn't want to leave. He walked with his head down, until somebody spoke to him.

"This is the end of the rope." Kisame looked up to see Konan standing at the corner of the road, just outside the front gate of the village. She was wrapped in several bandages, and had some small cuts on her face. Her bottle was open in her hand, but she hadn't drank anything out of it.

"Yeah, I guess." Kisame tried to grin, but it was hard. "Where you heading to next?"

"Land of Iron." Konan swirled the liquid around in the bottle. "I've got to meet somebody over there."

The two of them were quiet for a while, until Konan tucked the bottle into her bag. She pulled the paper flower out of her hair, and it bloomed into a blueish paper bouquet in her hands. When she handed it to him, he took it, with slight surprise.

"I hope we will meet again in our travels. It was fun." Konan said, but she didn't seem very enthusiastic. Was she ever?

"Yeah. Good luck to ya." Kisame held the flowers there as Konan walked off down one of the trails. He watched her for a while, until she disappeared.

As Kisame thought about it, he frowned. Knowing how life was, he would probably never see her again. What a funny woman though. To take his mind off of things, Kisame tucked the flowers into his bag next to Samehada. Samehada didn't seem very pleased with the flowers, since they actually smelled like real flowers.

* * *

Kisame hadn't traveled too far from the Land of Hotsprings before he felt exhausted. He ended up stopping in some town he didn't even know. He got himself a motel room and threw everything on the floor. The town was actually almost the size of a city. Teams of genin ran around with their senseis, doing quaint jobs for the other villagers, and stupid vendors were still bothering people.

Kisame closed the blinds to all the windows to block out all the light that he could. He needed sleep, and he didn't care if it was in the middle of the day. Maybe if it was in the middle of the day he wouldn't have those kinds of dreams. Or so he hoped.

He lay there in the dark room contently. It was a beautiful silence. He had some ear plugs in, and it drowned everything else out, to his enjoyment. The black room had no noise. It was almost eerie. But Kisame was used to eerie. It was his best and only friend right now.

Kisame was right on sleep's doorstep when he saw it. The window, closed and covered, seemed to light up magnificently. A miliminute later, all the glass of the window shattered into extremely tiny pieces and flew into the room at Kisame. Kisame was knocked out of the bed by a shockwave that hit him so suddenly that he couldn't even react. He remembered flying across the room, but it was like the whole wall went with him. It all went black after that.

___________________

The only light that Kisame could see came from above him. It was a tiny stream of light that found surface right next to his face. Kisame couldn't breath very well. Something was smashing his chest, and probably sticking right through him. He could move his left arm a little, but his left wouldn't respond at all. Kisame imagined that it was probably crushed. His legs seemed to be somewhat okay. It felt like one of his ankles were bent a funny way, but it didn't feel like it was severely broken. Everything hurt. His head throbbed, and his right eye was watering, because blood was dripping into it. He could feel blood on his chin, and he couldn't hear anything. It freaked him out at first, but then he remembered he still had his ear plugs in, which was a good thing. Also, he was twisted kind of funny. There was something under him that was pushing his lower back up, but he was also propped against something from behind his head. He was close to sitting up, in a way.

He knew where he was, now. That flash of light was no ordinary flash. He was probably under the destroyed motel. He promised himself he would slaughter whoever blew the goddam building over onto him while he was _finally_ trying to get some rest. Kisame took care when he pulled his left arm out of under a heap of rubble. He examined it as well as he could with a throbbing head. It was cut up, and pieces of glass stuck out of it in a few places, but it was fine otherwise. He forced some chakra into his hand to help him ball it up into a fist. He had no idea how much rubble was on top of him, but he knew he couldn't just let himself die here. If he could get to some water, he could breathe.

Kisame let his hand stay open, palm up, and charged it with chakra. With a roar, Kisame brought his arm back, then brought it forward. The force of his chakra and strength sent mounds of rubble exploding up into the air and off of Kisame. He could now see the sky perfectly. His legs were also free.

He couldn't pull himself up however. He roared in pain when he tried. There was something sticking through his back and chest from under him. It took a lot of willpower to pull himself up off of whatever spike had pierced his chest. Blood poured from the gaping wound into his lap as he pulled himself up. He felt very dizzy because he sat up too fast. He carefully pulled his legs out of under pieces of his old room, then dislodged his arm. The ankle was bent inward, but not at an extreme angle. His arm was twisted incomparably worse, and was broken in many places. Kisame grunted as he snapped his ankle back into the correct position with his good hand, then looked at his mutilated arm with annoyance. He was bleeding everywhere also.

"Damn... Samehada!" Kisame barely spit the words out. Something must have hit around his throat area too.

Samehada shredded a path through the rubble still surrounding Kisame and came to his side. It didn't seem to be very pleased, but it had Kisame's bag wrapped around it's hilt.

Kisame grabbed his sword with his good arm, and Samehada poured more chakra into him. He used it to carefully heal up the hole in his chest, but not his arm. After getting more than enough chakra, Kisame began breaking the parts of him arm back into place. He didn't yell once, only because he bit into a part of a pillow he found. He didn't need to make any more noise. What if the person or thing that blew up that building was still around? He had no idea who it could have been. War sucks.

Kisame made a sling out of the remainder of the pillow case and put his bad arm through it. He was having an easier time of breathing now, so he figured he'd find a good river later. He grabbed Samehada's hilt and pulled himself up to stand in that hole he was in. Or, not really a hole, but everything was so destroyed it made it feel like a hole. He grabbed his bag and threw it on, then threw Samehada up and out of the big opening he created. Kisame was very slow to follow his sword. He needed to put as little weight as possible on his ankle. He also needed to be very wary of anybody else he found.

The whole 'city' was now a giant crater filled with rubble. And only after the first few minutes of walking aimlessly around, he saw someone. It was a kid, or at least he looked like one. He was really short, compared to Kisame's massive figure. His long blonde hair waved lightly behind him as he walked. He had a bunch of it that covered his left eye, and part of it was up in a high pony tail, off to the right of his head. He wore somewhat tight pants, but also wore a sort-of kimono top, which looked good but didn't make much sense. He had this big old bag strapped to his side and no shoes, and he was staring at Kisame intently. He was walking Kisame's way, so Kisame lifted Samehada onto his shoulder with his good arm. The kid was fondling something in his hand, and Kisame had a feeling that he'd just found the damn bomber.

"Listen, kid," Kisame yelled before the blonde got too close. "You might want to get out of my way. I didn't sleep to well because of you, asswipe."

The kid looked a little surprised at Kisame's sharp attitude, and his threatening growl. The kid stopped a good ten feet away from Kisame. The kid looked cocky in a weird kind of manner. His smile was huge. All three of them, Kisame noticed. Who runs around with hands on their mouths? Or, mouths on their hands. Whatever. Either way, Kisame didn't like it.

"Not my problem." the kid's voice was very loud and almost obnoxious. He _was_ cocky. He stared right up into Kisame's face. "You shouldn't have survived in the first place, hm."

Hm? Hm _what_?

"Well I did, and that should be warning enough for you." Kisame growled, his grip tightening on Samehada.

"True, but you don't exactly look to be in good shape, you know." His smile widened as a breeze passed them by, pushing a bunch of the blonde hair into his line of view. But he seemed not to notice it. Kisame was quick to spot some kind of shiny patch of gray near the kid's covered eye. Was that... metal?

"Get out of my way." Kisame repeated now, his tone only more and more harsh. The blond only laughed and set his hands on his hips. He was very flamboyant. If Kisame hadn't known better, he would've thought this guy to be a girl. But his face was too rough, and his voice was too deep. And there were no breasts.

"You don't look like you're from around here, judging by your appearance and headband. You were hired to be here, I'm sure, by the Jashinists, hm." this kid just read the first page of his metaphorical book. So this kid was a damn prophet now? "Because of that, I can't let you leave here alive. You know, wars are great for work. Surely you know what I'm talking about. No matter who you are, anybody will hire you, if you have enough destructive power, hm."

"What are you blabbering about?" Kisame grunted a little at the end of his sentence. It sounded like this kid liked the sound of his own voice. A little too much. But nonetheless Kisame was a little curious about this little wild kid running around, since he had enough power to blow up villages.

"I was hired to blow up a few villages around the Hotsprings nation and kill any of their hired help I could find, and you're officially on the list, hm."

Kisame thought about Konan. Had she met this guy in her travels before this? He was a little worried, but he shoved it out of his mind.

"And who in their right mind decided to hire you to do something like _that_?"

"Konohagakure's Hokage, hm. The old bastard may be crazy, but he pays generously. He's not a good sport either, by the looks of it."

Bingo. That Hokage needed to get stabbed in the head a few good times. _Seriously_. But either way, this may have looked like a kid before, but now that Kisame could get a good whiff of him, he wasn't so sure he wanted to fight, especially with his better arm gone.

"Listen, I don't have the time or patience for this." Kisame looked at his bag, which hung on his arm. "I have a good bit of money. If I pay you, will you leave me the hell alone?"

The blond was considering it when Kisame felt a pang of pain in his head suddenly. He felt dizzy, too. Something was wrong, and Kisame didn't know what. His eyelids were flickering, and Samehada suddenly became really heavy. _Too heavy_. Then he was falling.

"Huh?_ Hey-!!"_

* * *

It didn't take too long for Kisame to realize where he was. He could see piles of illuminated rubble around him. He was lying down, and it wasn't very comfortable. He heard the flickering smolder of a fire.

"It's about _time_ you woke up! Making me have to _camp out_ like this, hmmmmm..."

Kisame turned his head slightly to see the blond sitting a few feet away from him. His expression only brought one phrase to Kisame's mind: What a fussy bitch.

"You're an idiot. You collapsed right on your damn sword and bag. You had this huge fucking hole in the back of your head, hm. You were bleeding out all over the place." the blond brushed a bunch of hair out of in front of the right side of his face. "You're lucky I stuck around and wrapped it, since you mentioned a pay."

What a weird kid. The kid surely should've taken Kisame's shit and fled, but he didn't. Instead, he flipped him over on his back (which was obviously a _very hard _task), wrapped his head, and everything...

"_And_ we had to _camp_ right where you fell because your _damn sword _nearly chopped my hands off when I tried to move it. People aren't supposed to have living swords, you know."

"Can you do me a huge favor right now and _shut the fuck _up?" Kisame glowered at the blond, and he held his hands up as a show of surrender.

"Fine, hm. Just say when you wanna talk." the blond stood up and for a while seemed to wander aimlessly, going through the rubble, taking any valuables or anything or worth and examining them carefully.

Kisame felt like shit. His stomach was trying to force acid up his throat, but he tried to keep his mind off of that. He had to keep his eyes closed to stop the world from spinning. His head and body ached. He just wanted death in times like this. Sometimes he wished he wasn't human, so he didn't have to think this way. If only he was full monster, instead of a disgusting half-breed _thing_. Then people would respond much different. He would be like by those of his own race for once. Human or other. If he was full of either breed, they would accept him. But he was a half and half. Nobody likes that. Rage bubbled up inside Kisame's chest slowly, and he tried his hardest to repress it. He was in no condition to be getting this worked up again. The blond would be his target, and he was sure the blond had no problems with blowing up a shark that came up suddenly to attack him.

"There's nothing here." the blond mumbled after a little while, returning to the fire and Kisame. Kisame's eyes were narrow. He really needed to find better ways of dealing with his insignificance.

"What's your name anyways, blondie?" Kisame didn't really care, he just needed a scapegoat.

"Deidara, hmm..." this Deidara kid was now eying him. This kid didn't look smart, but he really was. Probably leagues ahead of Kisame. "You?"

"Hoshigaki Kisame." Kisame forced himself to sit up finally. If he was going to throw up stomach acid anytime within the next few minutes, he wasn't going to throw it up on his own face.

"You sure you should be sitting up, hm?" Deidara inquired, his eyes narrowing. This kid could sense Kisame's tension. What a strong intuitive sense.

"Shut up. I'm fine now." Kisame spoke through a burp, tasting acid in his mouth. "Got any food?"

"Plenty." Deidara rummaged through his bag, and opened up his separate bag of food. "Have your pick. I need to 'buy' more soon, hm."

Kisame ate some bread and an apple that he found. He glanced over at Samehada, which he just noticed. Samehada appeared worn, and Kisame's bag was under it. By worn, Samehada looked like it needed some new bandages, a good cleaning or dip in the water, and a sharpening. Sharpening that damn sword was the hardest task in the world. Samehada _shaves_. Obviously the sharpening process was a difficult one, plus the sword was very fussy.

Stars were out in the sky above them. Small fires around the crater illuminated the rubble further. Nobody else had survived the explosion. Kisame wondered how he did. Deidara seemed to relax after a while, figuring Kisame's mood was probably a normal occurrence. Kisame chewed on his lip for a while. He wasn't sure what he was going to do next. Would this kid want anything for taking care of him? Oh. Wait. He'd promised the kid money for leaving him alone. Well, why not use the kid to his advantage? He wasn't a cruel bastard, so he'd pay the kid to leave the Jashinists alone, and to bring him somewhere where he wouldn't get blown up. Seemed like a solid plan to him.

* * *

Deidara was more than willing to leave the Jashinists alone after Kisame had shown him how much money he was going to pay him. He also agreed to _fly_ them somewhere where Kisame would be safe.

"Fly? Did you just say _fly_?" Kisame stared at the very short blond before him, who stared back at him in all seriousness.

"Yes, hm. What'd you think I said?" Deidara was a very bitchy person, Kisame thought. "You've never flown before, have you?"

_Of course_ he hadn't! Kisame was appalled. Fly? On _what_? How high could something flying take his heavy ass anyways?

"Don't freak out. God." Deidara barked at him, reaching into the bag strapped to his side. "It's not as bad as you'd think, hm."

Deidara's handmouths chewed the clay he pulled out of his bag- Wait. _Whoa_. Were those _mouths_?! Oh, wait, he'd already been through this. Anyways, those odd mouths spat out the clay again, in the shape of two odd birds.

"We're riding on those?" Kisame questioned immediately, which seemed to ruffle Deidara's feathers.

"Just _watch,_ please."

Deidara tossed his birds on the dirty ground, and lifted a hand in a half-tiger. As usual, there was a large cloud of smoke that exploded out of nowhere, and Kisame wanted to cough, but he couldn't. His throat was still messed up, and he needed to find a medic to help him out. When the smoke cleared, two gigantic birds sat waiting. And they were the clay ones, too.

"See? My art. You won't drop,_ I promise_." Deidara snorted at him as he jumped onto the back of one of the birds. "C'mon. We don't have time to stand around."

Whatever. Liar. Kisame thought they had all the time in the world right now. He'd never even _thought_ of flying before. This was a ridiculous prospect. With a deep sigh, Kisame wandered over to 'his' bird in an unsure manner. It gazed blankly at him, and didn't even move when he came close. he looked at the huge bird's back. Where did he hold on? With another sigh, Kisame carefully climbed onto the bird's back. The bird seemed pretty able to support Kisame's weight, and the blue man himself was intrigued by the feel of the bird. It was like a giant flying figurine.

"Ready? You might prefer to sit down if you have never done this before." Deidara cautioned as good as an expert, and Kisame was quick to follow instructions. He felt extremely out of place on the back of the bird in the first place, and kneeling down on a knee made him feel even more unnerved. Samehada wasn't responding well either. It wouldn't shut up.

Kisame had to hold in a yell as the bird suddenly spread it's gargantuan wings and lifted up off the ground. He grabbed a hold of the large spiky things on the bird's back for support, and soon they were up so high he could see the entire crater. His stomach did loop-dee-loops as they lifted and lifted, then they began a steady glide up by the clouds. Deidara looked pretty content, but not fully happy. He had to play things careful while he was flying this land-shark around.

Kisame felt his arms and hands quiver a little, and he felt ashamed. He didn't want to feel weird, but it was a weird feeling. He didn't trust this bird at all, and he thought that at any moment it would flip over and drop him thousands of feet to his death. He never wanted to do this again....

"Any idea where you want to head?" Deidara called over to Kisame. Kisame stared in awe at Deidara. He was standing up on that bird with perfect balance, like he was friggin' _born_ standing on a bird thousands of feet up.

"I need a medic." Kisame called, swallowing his fear. He didn't even want to look down. "And I have some expensive wears I need sold. You know anybody who could help me with both?"

Deidara looked thoughtful for a moment or two, then grinned. "I know who we can go to. Hold on, cause we need to turn around!"

Kisame crushed his eyelids closed and his stomach turned repeatedly at he felt the bird tilt slightly on his side. The wind through his hair made him feel sick, and he felt like Samehada was almost being tugged off his back. He had a feeling this was going to be a horrible trip. They should have just walked. This person Deidara's thinking of better be _good._

* * *

I'm sorry. I haven't updated for a while. Updates should be coming faster soon. I was out of the groove for a while, but I'm on Christmas break right now, so hopefully I'll kick myself back into gear. This story is only just beginning, so... Please comment on new chapters as they come out. I've noticed I like to make words up, and I have to go back and correct them with spell-check. ( (c) Masashi Kishimoto )


	6. Chapter 6

**Don-yoku**

_"Even Hell runs on money. I'd be just fine." - Kakuzu_

What a town. Kisame had never been to a town this... this.... _unfriendly._ It wasn't the people or anything. The atmosphere stunk of corruption. Why in the world was this kid stopping in places like this, meeting people who lived here? What kind of medic could they find here?

Kisame couldn't even follow after Deidara very well. There were prostitutes that lined the filthy streets, and they seemed to take a liking to him, and kept trying to hang onto his arms as he walked along. They kept trying to sweet-talk him. They didn't really like him, and he could tell they were probably just trying to make a damn quota. Did he really look like he had a lot of money? Probably not, but he sure as hell looked like the lonely type that could never get attention any other way and wouldn't mind paying money for a girl. Damn his appearance.

"His building's up ahead, stud-muffin." Deidara had stopped to let Kisame catch up to him, since Kisame was a little busy waving off the women. "You enjoying the attention, hm?"

"Not in the least." Kisame grunted as he caught up to the blond, hearing disappointed whines from behind him. Poor poor girls.

The building Deidara led him to looked nearly run down, but it was the tallest building in this 'town'. More like a miniature city. Everything stank of underground. Its dark alleys and modern-looking buildings only added to this cold, unwelcome feeling. Kisame didn't like it very much, but he didn't feel much like complaining. The atmosphere made him feel more meek. Not mild, but just made him want to shut up.

The inside of the building was no different than the outside. It was a dark room, with one ceiling lamp above their heads. You could barely see the walls. There was a secretary at a small desk at the end of the long room, and she looked like a skank, to be blunt about it. Why did all the women have to look the same? Well, the secretary seemed more interested in filing her nails than greeting Deidara and Kisame as they approached the desk. The desk had a small laptop sitting on it, and a stack of papers with a pen holder at the corner. All of it looked nearly untouched.

"Kakuzu in, hm?" Deidara spat at her, and she looked up almost immediately. Deidara had a way of being unnecessarily mean to people who seemed to not deserve it, and he was giving lip to this woman Kisame was sure neither of them had even met before. Deidara seemed to act like kind of a bastard to men and women equally.

"You have an appointment?" she spat back. She was a latina, now that Kisame looked at her closer and heard the way her voice worked. She had a metal-plate headband around her waist, but he couldn't see what symbol, if any, it had on it.

"I asked you a simple question." Deidara snapped, "Is Kakuzu in or not?"

"Not unless you got an appointment, asswipe,"

Deidara scowled, backing away from the desk. Kisame looked at him funny for a few moments.

"He never likes to see me, really. He doesn't let me make appointments with him, hm," Deidara said quietly, with a twitch of his brow, "I don't know how we'll get in."

Kisame scratched his head, then looked at the woman. She was filing her nails again.

"Damn..." Deidara growled, looking around the room impatiently. It looked like he was trying to think. Kisame played with Samehada's hilt, before deciding he didn't want to stand around here forever and wait for Deidara to murder this woman when all his attempts failed.

"Excuse me, miss," Kisame wandered back to the counter, going into his bag. The woman looked up impatiently.

"I already told you. If you don't have an appointment, then get out." she snapped at him, but he wasn't phased by it. She was little, and he was big.

"Well..." Kisame pulled out the jar of eyeballs from his bag. The jar was wrapped in an old hotel sheet. "I've got an offer for this Kakuzu that's very important, and will make him a good deal of money. If I have to make an appointment, I will. But he might not be so happy with you if he finds out how valuable a deal this is, and how you put it off."

Kisame set the jar on the desk in front of the woman and left it there without a hand on it. The secretary eyed it carefully, then pulled off the sheet. She gasped when she saw the two pairs of eyeballs float lifelessly in the jar.

"These are the eyes of the former Hyuuga clan leader and his oldest daughter." Kisame crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at her patiently, for the most part. Deidara was now looking at the secretary too, with a snooty look on his face.

The woman's mouth hung for a few minutes, then she put the sheet back over the jar.

"Go down the hall to the elevator. He's currently on the fifth floor."

"Thank you." Kisame said with a wide, sharp-toothed grin as he picked up the jar again. He felt successful for once. It just took some being 'nice'. Deidara could learn from him.

Said blond led their way down the dank hall, watching carefully for any on-coming people. It was barely lit, and Kisame didn't like the smell. It was too musky and gross for his liking. The elevator was no better. The bell-boy or whatever you call this weirdo smelled like booze big time. Kisame was afraid he'd throw up or faint on the way up, but he didn't.

"I know the way to his office. Follow me, hm." Deidara said, and Kisame barely listened. His body was aching again, and he remembered just how injured he was. His main arms was still really achy, and he hadn't been using it. He felt liquid on the back of his neck, which meant his head was bleeding again. Damn it.

This hall was a little more tidy than the hall of the ground floor. There were more lights, and a little less of the icky smell in the air. There were odd looking men standing around smoking cigarettes and eying them. They especially eyed the jar Kisame held, which was wrapped in the sheet, making it look suspicious.

"This is it." Deidara said as they approached one of the bigger doors on the floor. "Watch your P's and Q's, 'kay?"

Kisame nodded, and Deidara knocked on the door. There was no noise for a moment or two, then Kisame heard the voice from within.

"Who is it? Whoever it is, you don't have an appointment." his voice was fierce and angry. Very deep too. Kisame didn't feel intimidated either. He was bigger than all of these guys.

"Do I ever have an appointment, old man?" Deidara called into the room with a grin. Only after that did Kisame hear actual noise in the room.

The door swung open, and there stood a very off looking man. Well, you couldn't really see much of how he really looked. His skin was dark, you could tell because only the space around his eyes showed. He wore this odd looking mask, with a slashed waterfall village head plate attached to it. His eyes were the weird part. They seemed to glow green, and he didn't even have pupils. Around the green was a dark reddish-black. Everything else about him was covered up with black clothing, with a thick black coat over it. He looked like the business type too.

"Well I'll be damned." the man said, looking down at Deidara, then slightly up a Kisame. "Deidara finally came to visit. You better have a good reason for bringing a shark into my building, boy."

Kisame growled a little at that. What an ass. Like he needed his appearance shoved in his face again by this guy, who really didn't look like he had the authority to talk about looks.

"Don't insult him. I brought him here to deal with you. I'm an escort this time, hm." Deidara snapped as the man stepped aside to let them enter. The office was very well kept, unlike the rest of the building. "Kisame, this is Kakuzu. Kakuzu's a fine dealer of underground shit, and a top-of-the-line medic at the right price."

Kisame stared at Kakuzu in a slightly angry manner. He had a feeling he wouldn't like dealing with this guy. At all.

"Oh, really? Kisame, then? This better be good. I don't like dealing with new people, and I don't like it when people make my decisions for me." he said it with kind of a growl in his voice, side-glancing a Deidara, who's eyes got really big right then.

Kakuzu walked over to his desk and sat down. There were three other chairs sitting in front of the desk, but not too close. Deidara took a seat in the one furthest to the left, and Kisame took the one closest to the right. He had a feeling being directly in this guy's line of vision would be a bad idea. Kakuzu didn't intimidate him, but Kisame had no idea what this guy was all about.

"So, what do you have for me?"

Kisame sighed deeply as he removed the cloth from the jar. He could see how hungry Kakuzu's eyes suddenly became as he watched the two pairs of eyes float lifelessly around in the jar. The hunger was to an extreme level. Kisame had never before seen such a strong greed in someone's eyes. This man was the epitome of corruption.

"I killed the clan leader and his daughter for these. Myself." Kisame made sure to keep his voice as steady as possible. He wasn't _that_ good of a talker. "I know how much they're worth, and there's no way in hell I'm settling for anything less than what _I_ want. If you wanna get any money out of this, then you'll heal me up. I'll pay you as much as you need after that. I know you don't want to pass up this opportunity, so..."

Kakuzu was quiet for a while. He seemed to be examining the eyes in the jar, probably for authenticity purposes. But, after a few minutes, his eyes returned to Kisame's. They stared each other in the face for another minute, then Kakuzu let loose a deep chuckle. Evil incarnate.

"Well, I like your style. You don't seem like an idiot, and you're powerful." Kakuzu leaned back in his chair almost lazily now, "It's a deal then. Now, let's discuss some amounts here..."

Kisame grinned broadly at that. Deidara yawned and slumped slightly in his chair.

* * *

The feeling of full health was absolutely refreshing. Kisame had never felt better in his life! Sure, the healing process itself was actually a little painful, but Kisame found that it was worth it.

This town wasn't all that bad, he found. Kisame and Deidara had stayed in a hotel close to Kakuzu's building for the past three nights. It was a town all about temptation, and whether you would resist it or not. Kisame hadn't really had time to do much of anything exciting, because he was ordered to rest by Kakuzu, but Deidara sure did know how to party. Kisame had been awoken one of the previous nights to Deidara stumbling into their hotel room. He was drunk as hell, and he wasn't alone. Not only did he bring a half-naked girl with him, he brought a _boy_ with him too. Kisame had to spend the night out on the balcony of the hotel. It was, at least, a nice balcony.

When Kisame asked Deidara the next day which way he actually swung, he was surprised by Deidara's answer.

"When it comes to one night stands, I don't have a set sexuality." Deidara brushed some of his hair out of his face, eating some breakfast. "It's all good either way you get it."

"Well, when it's not a one night stand, then which way do you swing?" Kisame questioned through a mouthful of eggs and bacon.

"It's never _not_ a one night stand, Kisame."

It took a lot to push it out of his mind that day, but Kisame was pretty excited to go see Kakuzu and seal the deal finally. He'd get his money (which was a lot, mind you) and finally be able to blow this joint. No more Deidara's and Kakuzu's. No more beautiful women that would sleep with him even if he was ugly. No more grim city, which was stationed almost directly above the Village Hidden in the Waterfall.

"_What?!" _Deidara yelled, standing up out of his seat. Kisame stared blankly at Kakuzu for a few moments. He had his own money, but Kakuzu wasn't done with Deidara.

"You heard me. You _owe_ me, boy." Kakuzu growled, glaring at Deidara sternly.

"I don't owe you shit, hm!" Deidara growled, gritting his teeth. All three sets of them.

"You brought him here without my permission. You've done multiple things like that in the past. It's about time you started repaying your _debt_ to me."

Deidara growled lightly, clenching his fists. Kisame could only sigh, slapping a hand on Deidara's shoulder. But Deidara just didn't want to calm down.

"I want you to get something for me. It shouldn't be that hard if you two work together."

"Hold on." Kisame stopped his thoughts to try to analyze what Kakuzu just said. "If you _two_ work _together_?

"Well, since he brought you here, you owe him that much, at least." Kakuzu's head was down. Kisame could tell he was trying to not laugh or something. This was no laughing matter. Deidara _owed_ him for_ blowing him up_. Deidara had gotten his pay from Kisame already, what did he owe Deidara?

"No." Kisame grunted, taking his hand from Deidara's shoulder.

"Wait-wait-wait, hold on." Deidara turned to look at him suddenly. "He wouldn't insist you help me unless I needed it. Just help me real quick, this one time, hm? I know you're not an ass."

"Obviously not. But I don't want to get tangled in these affairs." Kisame growled, clutching his bag that was in his hand.

"You're already in this, Kisame." Kakuzu tapped his fingers on his desk. "By trading with me, you're already knee-deep in my affairs."

Kisame couldn't believe this. Dumb greedy bastard.

"Then let's do this quick and get it over with. Just because I'm in this doesn't mean I can't get out whenever I want.

"So you think." Kakuzu retorted, with a growl from Kisame in return. "Here's what I need you two to do, and please don't fuck this up...."

* * *

This is the shortest chapter yet, but trust me, it's for a good reason. The next chapter is going to kick major ass, and might need two parts. Oh, and this is not the end of Kakuzu. In fact, he will be in an amazing upcoming battle, the likes of which you've probably never even seen... Mua ha ha. *spoliers* Anyways, I hope you enjoy. Please comment, cause I wish people would comment more. Oh well. ( (c) Masashi Kishimoto)


	7. Chapter 7

**Nagaiki**

_"I am immortal! I will not die here! Destined to discover the true meaning behind everything! Destined to take control of everything in this world!!" - Orochimaru_

"I can just smell something wrong with this." Kisame growled, enraged, walking close next to Deidara. Deidara didn't look happy either. He looked concerned, more than anything.

"Well, at least we're not doing this alone. Kakuzu said he'd meet us there. He just wanted us to go on ahead to check things out, hm..."

"For fuck's sake! That right there just means we're in for trouble!" Kisame couldn't control how angry he got right now. It seemed like he just kept falling into being subservient to some sinister group or person for some reason. That crazy Madara guy was obviously smarter than Kisame thought he was before. Look at all these people he'd met in just the past week or two.

Their objective: locate a remote cave in the forests of Konohagakure. This cave contained something special, something Kakuzu needed, but he didn't tell them what it was. It also contained a powerful enemy or two. But, according to Kakuzu, this special something was worth the effort. Or, at least, it was worth it to _him_.

Deidara raised the idea that a cave of that sort would probably be hidden well, so flying wasn't exactly an option. It was better to travel on observant foot. This was taking a long time too, and Kisame's anger and adrenaline were spiking.

"I swear, if there's anything in that cave that'll get me in trouble somehow again, I'm gonna fucking kill Kakuzu..." Kisame mumbled, and walked, but hadn't noticed Deidara stop for another few steps.

The short blond was staring into the bushes, his eyes narrowed in alert. Kisame took that as a hint to shut up, and walked back over to Deidara. He was able to see, just in time, the tail of a reptile of some sort slither under the bushes and out of sight.

Kisame looked back at Deidara, who's face displayed disgust.

"That was the biggest snake I have ever _seen_...." he grumbled, shaking his head and beginning the walk again.

Kisame shook his head, feeling a little bit of anger dissipate inside him. Nothing like a dumb blond to put your mind at ease. Well, _close_ to dumb.

The walk was boring to Kisame now. He couldn't begin to guess why he was feeling so moody today, but he was. Deidara was staying relatively calm, in the very least. The area was mostly all forest, so too observe more, Deidara said he'd head up into the sky to check any of the nearby mountains.

"I thought you said flying was a bad idea?" Kisame's eyes narrowed, but Deidara didn't look like he was in the mood to argue.

"I'm going to check the hills and mountains from above. The cave could be in the side or top of one of 'em. This area is covered with mountains and forest. It could be anywhere, hm." Deidara hopped onto the back of his giant clay bird. "If I find it, I'll set off a signal."

As Deidara took off, Kisame couldn't help but wonder what in the world this thing Kakuzu wanted was. Some magical potion or weapon? Yeah, magical. Okay.

Kisame wandered through the forest almost aimlessly now, figuring intuition would lead him there. His intuition almost lead him into a pothole full of snakes, however. A giant pit that had been covered by fake grass and debris from around the area. One large foot was enough to sink the top. Kisame stepped off of it quickly, and watched the top fall into the pit. Instantly, the sounds of hissing and rattling echoed out of the hole. Kisame peered in, and got shivers when he saw how big those purple snakes were.

"Must be nearby then." he grumbled, stepping carefully around the hole and walking again. He figured he was being a little to lax about this situation, but he just wasn't feeling in the mood for this kind of thing today. Nonetheless, he reminded his own dumb ass to be careful.

And, indeed, it was. As Kisame drew closer to the center of the forest, he found the openning to an underground cavern. It was a huge entrance, but it was surrounded by thick trees, and ivy grew on the top. It was dark, and the distinct smell of blood flooded Kisame's nose as he got close. The smell made him gag a little, but he took in a deep breath, trying to stay tough.

How was he supposed to alert Deidara? Kisame was more than eager to go in, even by himself, but logic told him that was a bad idea. He was no good at sneaking around. Deidara was, however.

Kisame jumped when he felt something huge seamlessly wander over his foot. He jumped back to see one of the giant purple snakes, but it looked a little bigger than the one's in the pit. It hissed at Kisame, bearing large fangs at him. Kisame couldn't help but growl back, feeling a little frustrated with this situation. He didn't like snakes. Not one bit.

The snake soon held it's place, refusing to move, hissing at Kisame when he took steps forward.

"C'mon..." Kisame grumbled, grabbing Samehada's hilt, "You don't wanna become snake sushi, do you? Get outta the way."

The snake spat at him only more, it's long body now visible from the forest. It was much bigger than Kisame, by far. Could probably eat him in one bite, but like hell Kisame was gonna let that happen.

The snake brought it's head back slightly, and Kisame brought Samehada up at the snake launched itself at him. The snake was extremely fast, with a power behind it that Kisame was amazed with.

The snake snatched Samehada right out of Kisame's hands, flinging it up in the air. Kisame's eyes were a little wide, and it seemed like he finally woke up from the lazy daze he was in.

"C'mon, you bastard! I dare you to try that shit again!" Kisame roared at it, and it hissed nearly in his face.

Sure enough, it launched at him, and Kisame braced himself. When it came close enough, Kisame reached out and latched his hands to it's jaws, avoiding the giant fangs. His feet didn't grip the ground good enough, and the force of the snake nearly plowed Kisame's back into a nearby giant tree. Kisame roared, fighting against the thrashing of the giant snake trying to get out of his grip.

Kisame held the snake in place for a while, miraculously. It shook it's head violently, and whipped it's tail at him furiously. Kisame feet were dug deep into the dirt in front of the tree, and the force of his hands were crushing the tip of the snake's face. He was trying to think of a plan, until he saw the plan come flying at them.

Deidara's giant bird soared down through the trees and latched onto the snake. Kisame released the snake's jaws as the bird's powerful wings dragged the snake up off the ground, but it was too heavy to get any farther up.

"Kisame, hide!" Deidara yelled from somewhere, apparently not on the bird anymore. Kisame's reflexes were unbelievably quick, and he ran back into the forest as a somewhat 'small' explosion sounded.

Kisame was happy he'd hid behind a big tree, as he watched snake parts fly past it, and smack into the tree's other side. Kisame sighed with relief, looking at his hands. They weren't even cut or anything. Just a little purple.

After another minute, Kisame stood up, stretching. His back ached a little. The giant clay bird, missing a wing, sat next to the long body of the snake. Apparently Deidara only took out it's head. The stupid snake probably turned around and bit the damn bird. Dumb creature.

"How'd you know where I was?" Kisame asked, coming over to Deidara, who was dusting himself off.

"A sword doesn't normally fly without help." he retorted carefully, a little more concerned with their surroundings, noticing the cave. "I'm sure whoever's in there knows we're here now. Get ready, hm."

Kisame whistled sharply, and Samehada tore through he woods back to his side. Some of the bandages on it sizzled, a purple goop burning through them. Kisame guessed that was the snake venom. Good thing Samehada was tough.

"God, it smells worse than the snake..." Deidara grumbled, walking into the dark of the cave, Kisame following close behind him.

"There's somebody ahead, I think..." Deidara whispered, his steps becoming slower and more cautious. The floor of the cave got steep very fast, Kisame noticed. Deidara's heart was pounding horribly fast, and Kisame could practically smell his fear. No wonder. Deidara was person meant for the air, not in a freakin' cave.

Kisame couldn't even see ahead. He grabbed a hold of Deidara's arm to stop him, trying not to cough.

"If there is someone down there, we're not going to them. I can't even see, let alone fight." he whispered in the blond's ear, feeling kind of frozen. This cave was also presenting itself as uneccessarily creepy.

"Oh, great. Then what the hell are we going to do? We're already looking pretty damn unprofessional, if you ask me, hm." Deidara growled in his face, his breathe extremely warm on Kisame's moist skin.

"Flush 'em out."

Kisame turned and dragged Deidara back the way they came, which wasn't far. Deidara wasn't really sure what Kisame had in mind, he just hoped it wasn't something stupid.

Kisame turned and stopped a little ways away from the entrance. Deidara stumbled a little on the floor, reaching the entrance to the cave.

"So, how do we 'flush them out', hm?" Deidara looked relieved to be back near the entrance, but a little wary of Kisame.

"How else? There's only one entrance, our entrance, I'd guess." Kisame stood in a jutsu-ready position, and clapped his hands together. "Drown them out. And who cares about looking good? Let's just do this and get it done and over with."

"Oh, fuck..." Deidara sighed deeply, sticking his hands into his clay bags and keeping them there as he ran out of the cave. He didn't feel like getting wet.

Up from Kisame's gut came waves of water down into the pit of the cave. The cave obviously wasn't too long, because within a minute he could see the water's surface a few feet away. Kisame burped a little after he stopped his jutsu, looking at the surface. His idea about only one entrance was obviously right if the water was just hitting the bottom of the cave and filling up like a cup. He could make out a few pieces of clothing that floated up to the surface.

Then he saw it. Somebody's head peaked the water's surface, and they came up quickly after it. It appeared to be some gray-haired kid wearing glasses. His hair and purple clothes were soaked through.

The boy looked up and glared at Kisame. It was a very evil kind of glare, the kind Kisame didn't get often.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" he yelled at Kisame, who only grinned and took a few steps back after noticing another head near the water's surface.

The next to come up from the water wasn't even coughing or gasping for breathe. His long black hair stuck to his shiny white skin like glue, and his yellow eyes glowed like neon lights in the dark. He practically just walked out of the water, his arms limp, his clothes sopping wet.

Kisame took several steps back, until he was out of the cave by a few feet. Deidara was standing there, his fists raised and ready.

The two half-drowned people came up out of the cave. The kid looked extremely upset, wringing out his clothes as much as he could, while the black haired man waved his long hair out of his face.

"Fuck..." Deidara snarled suddenly, and Kisame turned to look at him. Deidara looked extremely flustered, but not nervous anymore.

"What?" Kisame whispered at him, furrowing his brows.

"I'm going to murder that_ greedy piece of fuck _Kakuzu, hm..." he mumbled, motioning for Kisame to keep his head forward.

Kisame turned back, and now realized why Deidara was freaking out. Kisame had seen that face on newspapers and television too many times to not know who this was.

"I hope you two understand what you've just gotten yourselves into..." the black haired man hissed, but not angrily. In fact, he was _chuckling_. His voice was nearly petrifying, "You both look quite surprised."

Kisame gritted his teeth in almost a rage. He felt like killing Kakuzu now, too, for pitting them against Orochimaru of the Sound. He tried hard to calm himself. This was not an opponent he wanted to lose his temper and strategy with. He and Deidara were now in mortal danger.

Kabuto sneezed lightly after wiping water from his glasses. His eyes were narrow as he reached back into his waist bag and pulled out a few, what looked like, trading cards.

"How interesting. I don't believe we've ever met either of these two before." Orochimaru grinning straight at Kisame, his fangs shinning in the small beams of light coming down through the thick trees. His gaze wandered from Deidara to the dead snake after that. "They look quite capable. What a shame."

"Hmph. Hardly." Kabuto sneered, eying his cards intensely.

Kisame couldn't help but growl in retort. These two had such a superior air to them. It made him sick. Reminded him of some of the bastards he'd killed before. Big government officials. Even a daimyo. Somehow, though, he had a feeling this Orochimaru thought he was ten times better than them.

"Now, what do you two want? You look like quite the unlikely pair. If I had to guess, you two are probably hired goons?" Orochimaru chuckled again, folding his arms over his chest in amusement.

"You could say that, hm." Deidara spat, brushing hair out of his face. His stance was still cautious, however.

"You both appear to be a little quick-tempered." Kabuto spat back, "It won't be hard to outwit the both of you, I'm sure."

"Don't make assumptions on just appearances if you want to live long, boy." Kisame said in a monotoned voice, having mostly calmed down.

Orochimaru, for some odd reason, looked overly pleased with this situation. He didn't even look like he was ready or even wanted to fight.

"I think he's right, Kabuto." Orochimaru glanced over at Kabuto, who didn't look so high-and-mighty anymore. "These two are definitely more than they appear to be."

Deidara's eyes were flickering around the surrounding area. Kisame wasn't sure what he was doing or thinking, but he hoped it was at least productive.

"I'm sure you're both here for a good reason. Now, what would that reason be? I'm a very busy man. Not to mention I've now got a big mess to clean up." Orochimaru thumbed at the entrance to the cave with a sharp grin on his face. Kisame read it as a kind of threat. "Oh, and who hired you two? You two don't look like the average hired goons. You two look expensive, in fact."

"I owe a favor." Deidara spoke up, his eyes settling, unmoving, on Orochimaru. "Or, at least, that's what Kakuzu says, hm."

"Oh, Kakuzu!" Orochimaru was having a ball. "Oh, my, what must I have done to anger him this time? If he knew he was sending you two to someone like me, then you two must definitely be special. Powerful, I'm sure."

These compliments didn't strike Kisame right. What was this guy's deal? Did he like to butter up his opponents into thinking they were strong, then break them down? Kisame had fought someone else like that once, except it backfired. He wasn't sure whether Orochimaru was the same, but something in his gut told him not to guess on this guy.

"Enough with the talk, now." Deidara stood straight, "Let's get this done."

"Oh, hasty indeed. Smart nonetheless." Orochimaru didn't even get into position, but Kabuto did. "I rather like you two. You both would look good in my lab, hanging frozen from hooks..."

Kabuto raised his hands up in front of his face, keeping his fingers straight. The hands began to glow a vibrant blue, and Kabuto dropped his hands down to his sides and rushed them. Deidara sneered wildly, his hands mouths spitting up globs of clay, that formed into odd looking human-like creatures. Deidara kept them attached to his hand mouths with tiny clay strings. The two minions ran forward towards Kabuto lazily.

Kisame grabbed Samehada off his back, as Orochimaru chuckled.

"Sword on sword, then?" he laughed, practically regurgitating another sword from his throat. Kisame stared in mild disgust, but held Samehada at the ready. The blade of Kusanagi was nothing to scoff at, for once.

Kabuto was as precise as possible in stabbing Deidara's creatures back. Deidara could easily tell that Kabuto's current medical technique couldn't make fatal cuts. He struggled just to slice Deidara's minions up. Nonetheless, Deidara pulled the strings toward himself, dragging pieces of minion at Kabuto as he rushed toward Deidara, hands up to cut.

Deidara heaved in a large breathe and spat clay at Kabuto from his main mouth. It formed in mid air into a small bird and exploded before Kabuto even got close. Kabuto had to skid to a halt, vision blocked, and jumped up into the air to avoid the pieces of minion coming towards him. He landed a few feet back, and when the smoke cleared from the small explosion, Deidara stood grinning with four minions in front of him. All of them were a little thinner than the two before.

"Nice technique." Kabuto chuckled, adjusting his glasses. "But two can play the buddy game."

Orochimaru's speed was extreme. Kisame knew this was going to be a hard time on his part. When he blocked Orochimaru's downward slice with Samehada, the sword muttered it's sharp disapproval with 'gigigis'. With brute strength, Kisame used Samehada to fling the practically airborne Orochimaru back away from him. Taijutsu was probably Orochimaru's weak point, if he even had one.

"Oh... A powerhouse indeed." Orochimaru snickered, twirling Kusanagi in his hand, "It's a shame that you're so ugly."

Kisame took in a deep breath, gripping Samehada's hilt with neck-breaking force.

Orochimaru came at him several times, only going for one-hits or small combos, all of which were deflected carefully by Kisame. He could keep up, but he was getting worn down to the point where he would make a mistake. That was what the snake wanted.

A long scroll rolled neatly out on the ground in front of him, Kabuto disappeared behind a cloud of grayish smoke. Deidara held position patiently, wiggling his stiff fingers. When the smoke cleared, four undead ANBU stood around Kabuto, who was adjusting his glasses again.

"Nasty." Deidara grumbled, watching the undead totter in place. His minions wiggled restlessly in front of him.

"Bombs are such a destructive choice for a weapon. If you don't use them right, you could lose limbs, or your life." Kabuto sighed, shaking his head.

"A little too late for the warning, smartass." Deidara growled, adjusting his finger position again. He had stitches under his sleeves.

For a while it was minion on undead drone. Kabuto controlled them cleverly, and Deidara had a bit of a hard time keeping up. The whole puppet control thing wasn't his forte, but it would more than do for now. He needed to waste this guy soon. Kisame was fighting Orochimaru. Alone.

Orochimaru finally landed a hit. Right in the back of Kisame's neck.

Kisame had been slowing down gradually, until Orochimaru had just flashes behind him. There was no willpower left to turn around.

Orochimaru jabbed the Kusanagi blade right through Kisame. In and out the front and back of his neck. Orochimaru stood with a small grin planted on his face as the Kisame around his sword collapsed into water and the real one was swinging that huge sword right behind him. Clever. Copycat.

Orochimaru sunk quickly into the earth below him, missing Kisame's swing by inches. Kisame shook his head a little looking down at the ground. Samehada had a hard time eating Orochimaru's chakra, but it was doing a good job of it so far. Any chakra they could get their hands on meant the battle to Kisame.

"You're definitely not dumb either." Orochimaru rose up out of the ground a few feet in front of Kisame. "You can't judge by looks, for sure."

"Enough with the talk." Kisame fiercely growled at Orochimaru, "I came here to fight, not to play!"

"Oh... I see some of that shark showing. Alright. Only because you asked..."

"Enough!!" Deidara growled, setting off his minions in a giant explosion, obliterating the zombies. Kabuto was smiling.

Deidara, as usual, was impatient with careful fighting. Playing with puppets for an hour wasn't on his list of fun things to do in a battle. He reached into his clay bag as Kabuto ran at him. Deidara barely jumped back in time to dodge a glowing blue hand, or so he thought. As he landed a few feet away, ready to whip out some birds, his right leg collapsed under him.

With a small yell Deidara dropped to one knee in surprise. He couldn't see anything wrong with his leg. Nothing hurt, really. He pressed his right hand against the ground firmly.

"You really are a fool." Kabuto sighed, adjusting his glasses. Again. "I can split your tendons without you even knowing it. It'll be easy."

"I don't need legs to fight, hm." Deidara stood on one leg, staring Kabuto right in his eyes. "I've lost plenty of limbs completely. Enough to know how to fight without any."

Deidara raised the sign of a half tiger, and Kabuto wasn't even able to look down in time. An explosion set off under him, practically blowing him up into the air. He's looked relatively unharmed, but Deidara was on a bird and after him. In mid air.

A sea of snakes was the last thing Kisame needed, but it was what Orochimaru liked to do. He shot most of them away using the chakra infused water from inside the cave. He was quick with this at least. He felt like he was mostly just stalling. Kakuzu needed to hurry up and get here and deal with this asshole himself.

Kisame, not thinking too much, flung Samehada at Orochimaru. The army of snakes had disappeared (by the way, they came from Orochimaru's mouth), so there was a clear shot. While Samehada was flying towards Orochimaru, Kisame took stance and preformed a jutsu.

Orochimaru dodged Samehada almost easily, but was caught by surprise seeing a least five sharks made completely of water flying his way. The mass of sharks seemed to crash into Orochimaru and the ground around him.

Deidara had cleverly brought the battle with Kabuto airborne, noting Kisame using another jutsu to flood the entire area. Deidara was amazed how Kisame could just use giant amounts of chakra at a time. Crazy.

Deidara had struck Kabuto vertically with his bird while he was airborne, seeing him flying higher. Kabuto looked in a bit of a tight spot, and Deidara hadn't even noticed the giant white snake launching itself from the water below at him.

Kisame was much too slow to even do anything about the snake except to yell Deidara's name. Deidara turned in time, but the snake latched onto Deidara's sides. With a harsh yell, Deidara went flying from the bird to the ground, still in the snake's mouth.

Heart racing, Kisame only stared as Deidara and the snake fell into the water. Kisame sunk into the water himself, looking around cautiously. Orochimaru was nowhere to be found.

"Is he the...?" Kisame mumbled underwater, deciding that it was now useless to have the water there. Everything was backfiring. Deidara would drown.

The water disappeared into thin air, and finally Kisame spotted the snake. It was wrapped tightly around Deidara, fangs locked into his waist with intense force. The blood on the snake's skin looked surreal.

Kabuto stood up slowly from where he had landed. He coughed up a bit of water, and his legs were bleeding, but he stood anyways.

"Damn...." Kisame growled, frustration levels rising. The eyes of the snake were exactly like Orochimaru's. And now they had Deidara. Just his luck.

"You're in kind of a bind," Kabuto managed to chuckle, and Kisame's bloodthirsty eyes landed on him.

"Indeed." Orochimaru released his jaws from around Deidara, pulling his fangs from the gaping wounds in Deidara's sides.

"F-fuck..." Deidara spat up a bit of blood, having a hard time breathing as Orochimaru's grip strengthened around his whole body.

"I believe Kakuzu is drawing close." Orochimaru hissed, flicking his tongue at Kisame. "We shall await him."

Kisame had a hard time holding in frustration, especially when Kakuzu did show up.

"How disappointing." he grumbled, staring around at each of them. "I thought you'd at least do better than this."

"You better shut your fucking mouth." Kisame snarled at him, but Kakuzu didn't look afraid. "You didn't even tell us who we were dealing with, you greedy pig."

"Ooh, dear. Quite a temper he has." the white snake hissed, bobbing his head slightly. "I am quite curious as to why you sent these two. As you can see, we didn't go easy on them for a reason."

"Of course." Kakuzu had his hands in his pockets, so casual. "I'm here to bargain. Since you have Deidara, I have no choice."

"Well, I certainly like the sounds of that." the snake hissed, ducking it's head slightly towards Deidara, who was looking pretty pissed right about now. "Start talking. He doesn't have much time."

"Something I want and Deidara for something you want." Kakuzu crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes never leaving the snake's. "I need a recipe for a curse mark."

"Oh, is that all? It must be a big curse then. But which one of them was worth enough to send in two very powerful men to try to take from me?"

"The cursed seal of Heaven." Kakuzu sounded practically fearless, but Kisame had no idea what was going on or what the hell they were talking about.

"Oh-ho!" the snake laughed, looking delighted. "Well, if you want that seal, then I'll need something big in return, right?"

"I'm listening." Kakuzu sighed, watching Deidara's head slump.

"Bring me...."

Kisame stared back and forth at them for a while. A pit was settling in his stomach all of a sudden.

_ "Uchiha Itachi!"_

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Yay! This chapter was a headache. I had to go and look up jutsus for each and every one of the characters involved in the battle. More battles to come! I think I got Orochimaru and Kabuto's personalities down. Now, I really need some replies here guys, cause this is the moment of truth - should I add romance or not? (and just to let you know, if I did, it would more than likely be yaoi). Please tell me! I need help! Anyways, thanks for reading. ((c) Masashi Kishimoto)


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